


Hope Comes At A Cost

by Aspenthekitsune



Series: Give until there's nothing left to give: Rewrites, drabbles, ideas, and more [2]
Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (very minor), Abandonment Issues, Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Brief Homelessness, Bullying, Childhood Trauma, Disordered Eating, Dissociation, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorders, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fainting, Gaslighting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mentions of Pedophilia, Mentions of incest, Multi, Nightmares, No Smut, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Nonbinary Character, Not Beta Read, Orphanage, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Patton is messed up in the head, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Running Away, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Sign Language, Slow Burn, Starvation, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Mindset, Unhealthy Relationships, Verbal Abuse, Victim Blaming, being kicked out, emancipation, implied drugging of minor character, intentional triggering of PTSD, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27293170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspenthekitsune/pseuds/Aspenthekitsune
Summary: At first Patton made himself a home within the orphanage walls, but when everyone continued to leave him he decided it was time to move on. He made a house in a crappy apartment with mice in the walls and a blade in the bathroom. He found love in a coffeeshop and an abuser inside their walls. He found hope in the thought that his boyfriend loved himbut hope comes with a cost.This is an alternate version of my fic 'Give Until There's Nothing Left To Give'READ TAGS VERY CAREFULLY - there is a lot of heavy content in here, and Patton has a very messed up views on relationships, love, and punishments. please read the tags before reading!
Series: Give until there's nothing left to give: Rewrites, drabbles, ideas, and more [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992769
Comments: 23
Kudos: 30





	1. They always leave in the end

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the tags! I won't be putting specific chapter warnings on this work, so pay attention to the tags! The warnings are pretty consistently in every chapter, so if you don't like heavy content, or if there are triggering themes in this please go find something else to read! If you're still here, I hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have already read 'Give until there's nothing left to give' This chapter is identical to the first chapter. The new story starts in chapter 2!

Patton had been at the orphanage as long as he can remember. Spare a few spotty memories from his childhood, this place was all he had ever known. The worn wooden walls and squeaky cotts here home to him. They had to be. It was easier than fantasizing and hoping for more; easier than watching every child who gets adopted with envious eyes, watching as they get to be reassured that they are loved. Patton was happy for them, he really was, the kiddos deserved loving families, deserve attention that the orphanage workers just couldn’t feasibly give to all of the children in the orphanage. So he watched. Watched as the days fell into nights and turned back into day once again. Watched as adoption day came by and toddlers were scooped up into loving arms and were whisked out of the cruel cycle of wanting and hoping only to be let down time after time.

Patton knew that would never be him; knew that at the ripe age of 13 he was well out of the age range that people would come in looking for. They wanted children, young, happy, and impressionable so that they would assimilate perfectly into their new families. Patton tried to act happily, most people love the Happy Pappy Patton routine, even if the only ones there to witness it are the kids. The adults who do spare him a glance seem to smile back when he gives them his almost unnaturally bright and cheerful smile. The workers at the orphanage never paid him much mind, mainly because he was a good child and they didn’t have to worry about him. Smiles from incoming parents were pretty much the only attention he got other than the younger children, and if he could get a smile out of them, then he would take it. 

But Patton knew the real reason he wasn’t adopted. He knew why no matter how many bright smiles he forced on his face, or dad jokes he whipped up, no one would ever adopt him. The words might as well be written across his forehead at this point. He was a rape victim. He had come to the orphanage when he was 6, so he knew he should have more memories, but he didn’t. Most of them were repressed due to their traumatic narure, and he suffered major PTSD from his father’s actions. The few older kids knew, some making fun of him for it, some triggering him on purpose to see him fall to the floor and succumb to the memories that played in his head. Some sent pitiful glances his way, but seemed to ignore him otherwise. He wasn’t sure which reaction he hated more. There was also his history of self harm, although no one knew about that but himself, and if any of the other kids noticed, they didn’t mention it. 

That was why Patton loved hanging out around the little kids, they didn’t know or care what he’d been through, as long as he held them close, sung them a song, read them a story, or played with them, they would continue to love him in return. He was somewhere between a father figure and an older brother to the younger kids, although they probably forgot about him when they finally got to go home with families of their own. Patton wouldn’t blame them. Patton himself had long given up on the hope of getting adopted. Even before he aged out of the favored group, his PTSD always seemed to work as a repellent to most families. Maybe it wasn’t even that though, maybe it was just him as a whole. Maybe his smiles weren’t convincing enough, his laughs not perfect enough, or his honey eyes just not deep enough to be likeable. Maybe he was just not loud enough to be heard, or maybe he was too loud to stand out among his fellow peers. Whatever it was, Patton was sure it hadn’t changed, as no parents took more than a few seconds to look at him unless they mistook him for a worker. 

Patton couldn’t even count the amount of times someone had seen him reading to the little kids and assumed he was a worker, approaching him after he was done with the story to ask him about what kids were the best, or inquiring about certain details of the adoption process or where the bathroom was. He had been asked so many times that he could practically give the whole adoption _and_ foster care spiel as well as some of the most seasoned workers there. He always had to push down the small seedling of resentment as they addressed him as an adult and then went and fawned over the other kids. He knew that he was too old for that anyways, but he couldn’t help but yearn for some sort of validation or love. He didn’t need a superhero to sweep him off his feet, just a hug, or a kind word, _something_ more than the icy cold greetings of the wooden floor when he regained consciousness after a panic attack or flashback. The adults didn’t even bother with their fake sympathetic praise anymore. No ‘ _You’re so brave, bud’_ or _‘You’re doing so well, just keep breathing, you’ve got it_ ’ just small pitiful glances, or occasionally someone would move him to the bed if he had fainted in an inconvenient spot. But it didn’t even really matter to him anymore, at least that’s what Patton told himself, but he couldn’t deny the flutter of hope in his heart when a couple approached Patton on adoption day and started talking to him. _They probably just think I’m an employee._ Patton reminded himself, but put on a bright smile nonetheless. 

“Hiya there, I’m Patton!” He greeted, holding out his hand for a handshake which was quickly met by the taller looking male. 

“Greetings, Patton.” The man gave a firm shake of Patton’s hand before pulling back and resting his arms at his sides. “I’m Logan, and this is my partner Roman.” Logan introduced himself before gesturing to his husband. 

“Greetings, my fair prince, I am Roman, your local thespian at your service.” Roman greeted in a boisterous voice, Patton held back a flinch as Roman made large sweeping gestures with his hands. 

The three talked for a while, and Patton learned a lot about these two men. He learned all about Roman’s love for theater, and Logan’s fascination with astrology, and he even learned that both of them were fluent in ASL. Once Logan mentioned how he was diagnosed with autism as a kid and fighting an ableist school system to accommodate his needs, Patton knew he had a choice to make. Patton battled with his own mind for a moment, but finally made a decision as he realized that Visiting hours would soon be up. 

“Hey, I’ve loved talking to you guys, and you sound like you would be amazing parents, so I think there is someone you should meet.” Patton interjected once their conversation had met a lull of silence. 

Logan and Roman looked between each other with confused glances before turning back to Patton. 

“You are also a kid here, correct?” Logan asked cautiously, afraid that he had somehow mistaken Patton for a kid when he was a worker. 

“Yeah, but I think I know a kid who would be perfect for you two.” Patton explained, before quickly backtracking. “Not that I didn’t enjoy talking to you, you two are amazing and any kid who you adopt will be very lucky to have you two as their parents, but there is one kid in particular who I think it would make a world of difference to if you two would at least consider him.” 

Patton shoved down his sadness as he explained himself, knowing that he was about to give away the only shot at adoption he would probably ever get. These men were the only ones to stick around this long, but he knew that Dee needed this chance more than he did. He watched as Logan looked at Roman with an unreadable expression before gesturing for Patton to continue. 

“Well, we’d be happy to meet him then.” Roman gave a small smile, not quite as happy as the wide grin he’d been wearing before, but Patton could tell that it held just as much love. 

“Great!” Patton exclaimed with a smile. “His name is Damien, but he prefers to go by Dee. He’s also 13, and he’s been here for about 4 years. He may act a bit cold at first, but he’s very kind once you get to know him.” Patton gave a quick briefing as he tried to wave over a little girl, but accidentally caught the eye of one of the older boys instead, a very particular teenager that seemed to have a singular goal of making Patton’s life a living nightmare. 

Patton tensed up as the bot confidently strode over, standing next to Patton with a shit eating grin on his face as he grasped the boy’s wrist in a particular way that was known to effectively trigger Patton into a flashback almost every time it was used. Patton gasped slightly, fighting to keep the memories at bay and keep the shaking to minimum as he greeted his fellow foster brother. 

“Ricky,” Patton greeted through a forced smile. “Would you mind fetching Damien from his room, please? There are some lovely men who I think he would like to meet.” Patton tensed up even more as he felt the grip on his wrist tighten. He failed to withhold a small sigh of relief as Ricky let go of his death grip. 

“Of course,” Ricky accepted. “I’ll be back before you know it.” He said in a sickly sweet voice. 

Patton subconsciously shook off his wrist, trying to rid himself of the phantom hands that roamed his body. He took a deep breath or two before turning back to Logan and Roman with a smile that he hoped was convincing. 

“He will be here in a minute.” Patton explained cheerily, watching in confusion at the men’s worried glances. “Is everything alright?” Patton asked, immediately stilling his wrist once he realized he was shaking it. 

“I actually was going to ask if _you_ were alright,” Roman admitted hesitantly, afraid to overstep boundaries. “ I don’t mean to assume anything here, but you looked pretty uncomfortable when that kid came up and grabbed your wrist, and you were kind of shaking there for a minute before you responded.” 

Patton’s grin faltered for a second, before he regained his cheery facade. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, kiddo,” Patton winced as he accidentally called the adults ‘kiddo’ as if he was comforting a young child instead of reassuring potential adopters. “ I just didn’t like the way he grabbed me without warning, but it was just an accident, so I’m fine! I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Patton lied. His knees were shaking as he casually leaned back on the wall just behind him and he could still _feel_ **_his_ ** _hands_ **_-_ ** but they sure didn’t need to know that. 

“Are you su-” 

“Dee!” Patton exclaimed, doing his best to not feel too guilty as he interrupted Logan and waved over one of the only teenagers who would willingly talk to him, even if it was strictly out of public view. 

The boy walked over to Patton with a scowl on his face, glaring at Patton as he stalked towards the boy. 

‘Why the hell did you decide that sending _Ricky_ fucking _Valern_ was a good idea.’ Dee signed with a scowl on his face. ‘You’re lucky I even came after trying to communicate with that ableist asshole. Now what do you need?’ Damien ignored the wary glances coming from the tw adults as he faced Patton. 

‘First of all, language,’ Patton admonished ‘Second, I found some adopters who I think you would like to meet,so at least _try_ and have an open mind?’ Patton signed, his desperation somehow leaking through. Damien barely spared the two a glance before turning back to Patton with a certain exhaustion in his gaze. 

‘Patton, you are going to have to accept that we are never getting out of here,’ Dee scolded, although there was empathy in the younger boy's gaze. ‘Even if you somehow managed to find adopters or a foster family who knew ASL, there’s still the problem of me being a traumatized, defensive piece of shit pretty much all the time. Nobody wants a half blind piece of selectively mute garbage. Accept it, we’re going to age out of the system without a second glance from anyone here. It’s bound to happen and there’s nothing we can do.’ Dee signed angrily, gesturing to the burn scars and clouded-over eye that sat on the left half of his face. 

“Actually” Logan interjected, signing while speaking so that Dee would know he was capable. “We came here to adopt a teenager who would fit well in our home, regardless of any disabilities they might have. And the possibility that the teenager we choose could be you.” Logan gave a small smile and held out his hand to Damien. “ I believe he might have gotten off on the wrong foot, I am Logan and this is my partner Roman. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

Dee eyed the hand warily, but shook it nonetheless and stood a bit straighter in front of the adults, slipping on a mask of indifference to hide the shock on his face. 

‘My name is Damien, but you may call me Dee. The pleasure is mine.’ Dee signed before giving a dramatic bow. Dee had always been one for slightly dramatic flourishes. 

“You’re a fellow theater lover, aren’t you?” Roman guessed with an excited grin. 

‘What gave it away?’ Dee inquired, a small smile playing at his lips. 

“I’m a part time actor, I pride myself in being able to recognize fellow thespians and theater geeks.” He explained. “But now, for a very important question,” Roman paused for dramatic effect. Both boys tensed up as they awaited the question, slightly scared of what it could be. “ Plays, or musical theater?” 

Dee let out a sigh of relief, and Patton untensed, letting out a small giggle. 

“Contrary to popular belief, musicals would be the answer to that question.” Patton answered for his friend, who turned a bright shade of red and gave Patton a light punch on the shoulder while glaring daggers at his friend. Logan and Roman smiled brightly at the boy’s antics. 

‘You’re a jerk’ Dee signed, glaring at Patton before turning to The adults. ‘As this traitorous puffball so _graciously_ explained, I am partial to musical theater. What about you two?’ 

Patton stuck out his tongue, but Dee simply ignored him, his grin growing just a bit wider. 

“I am not partial to either form of acting, but Roman is definitely in favor of musicals and loves to spontaneously burst out into song.” Logan said with exasperated fondness, rolling his eyes slightly as he sends an amused look over to his partner, who was making an array of offended noises. 

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing” Roman and Dee said/signed in unison. They turned to each other, looking the other up and down as if sizing up an opponent before bursting into laughter. 

“I like you, kid.” Roman stated, giving Dee a nod of approval.

‘I guess you’re not half bad either.’ Damien admitted with a grin.

Logan was about to say something when a little girl ran up to Patton, flinging herself into Patton’s arms. Although a bit startled, the teenager still caught her with ease and carefully set her down on the ground before kneeling down to her level. 

“What’s up Maddie?” Patton asked, using a cheerful disposition to mask the racing of his heart. 

“Can you read us a story, Patty? We’re all bored and you always have the best stories!” Maddie requested, sending big puppy eyes up to Patton. The teen ruffled the young girl’s hair before responding. 

“Of course, Kiddo! I’ll be over in a minute. You all get ready and I’ll be over there in just a few minutes, okay?” The young girl nodded enthusiastically before bounding over to the group of young kids across the room. Patton just gave an amused huff of laughter before standing back up and addressing the other three. “Well, duty calls! It was really nice meeting you two, and I hope that you have a nice day!” 

“And to you as well, Patton.” Logan offered with a small smile. 

“Best not to keep tiny terrors waiting.” Roman joked. 

‘Have fun, _Patty_ ’ Damien signed, making his mocking tone clear through exaggerated hand signs. 

“Good luck _JanJan_!” Patton countered with an innocent grin before skipping off to the children. Dee simply stuck his tongue out. 

Patton giggled as he sat down, he knew that by the end of the day, his friend would be leaving with his new family, and Patton couldn’t be happier for him. Damien was always so kind, standing up for Patton when he could, or helping him get to his room after really bad flashbacks left him unsteady on his feet. Once Dee had even sung him a lullaby after a nightmare. Patton would miss his friend, but he was happy with his choice.

_He had to be…_


	2. Chapter 2

Janus was gone now, as were a few of the little kids and two other teenagers, and Patton was sitting in bed wondering how worthless he had to be if Ricky got adopted and not him? Patton wasn’t one to be jealous, or go wishing bad on other people, but Patton had standards. He knew that Ricky wasn’t a good kid. He knew that what he had been doing to Patton was wrong, so why did he get taken out of here while Patton was left behind? This was something Patton pondered for nights on end. He rarely got much sleep these days, his mind just wouldn’t allow it, but no one else seemed to notice. Or maybe they just didn’t care. He had thought they would care just a little bit, seeing as it was their job and all. But then again, he had thought Dee had cared, but seeing as he hadn’t seen or heard a word from the boy since his adoption, it was pretty obvious that Dee never cared anyways.  _ Or maybe to love is to leave people to rot- _

He always hated it when that happened. Patton was naive, and quick to trust, but it didn’t matter how many times he was stung, it didn’t hurt any less when he realized that no one cared. The little kids might care, but Patton had come to realize that they cared more for what he could offer them than for Patton himself. In all honesty, he couldn’t blame them. They wanted love and support, and he was able to provide just that, and there was obviously something wrong with Patton’s personality if no one had ever truly cared, or taken the time to come back for him.

It had been two years since Dee had left, and Patton hasn’t once been visited by any of the kids who left. He had assisted in many adoptions since then, making sure that all the kids end up in the right homes. He has given away any hope of adoption and gave it to those who deserved it. Patton didn’t deserve any of that hope. He used to believe in karma, and how if you do good things then good things will come to you, but as time went on it became abundantly clear that karma didn’t work like that. If it worked like that, Patton wouldn’t be sitting next to a lawyer fighting for emancipation.  _ Or maybe he was just that horrible. _

Patton had turned 16 three months ago and had held a consistent job for a year. He wanted to be free from the system as soon as possible, if only to be able to say that he didn’t age out. Patton didn’t know where he wanted to go with his life from here. He didn’t know what he wanted his future to be, or if he even wanted a future at all, but as the judge declared him an emancipated minor, he knew one thing about his future: It was going to be  _ his.  _ Patton didn’t cry when everyone cheered, he didn’t smile, he didn’t really feel anything at all. The only thing he was feeling right now, was a sort of resigned numbness settling like a weight in his chest. Patton had always hoped that he would be able to find an adopter who would protect him, who would want him in their family. And although doing this now meant that he could find a way to make his own family, he was also resigned to the fact that this was legally giving up any hope that he would be adopted. 

The orphanage was no longer forced to care for him, and would no longer give him food or a place to stay; strangers on the street would no longer be looking at the unloved teen who they would have sympathy for, but the too young adult who was unlovable and resigned to his fate. What would Dee think if he saw Patton now? Walking out of the courthouse, grabbing his things and finding an apartment. What would sweet little Elliot think if he saw Patton working 4 jobs to keep himself afloat? What would all of those adopters who had left him behind or never talked to him at all think if they saw him scarring his skin with cut after cut, making himself bleed in order to feel anything at all? 

One day, as Patton was working his early morning shift at a local cafe, a strange man started talking with him. Patton didn’t normally have anyone to talk to, and the man looked to be around his age, so Patton threw caution to the wind and decided to talk with him. Patton learned that his name was Markus, and that they had more in common than he originally thought. The two talked for hours about everything from mundane topics to deep philosophical questions, and Patton could feel himself falling fast. Mark just seemed too sweet and caring. When Patton’s shift was over he exchanged phone numbers with Mark and they went their separate ways. The rest of the day was pretty normal, nothing catastrophic but nothing particularly good either. But Patton just couldn’t get the boy off of his mind 

Months passed, and the two of them kept in touch, growing closer and closer each day. Mark would often come and keep Patton company during his shift, and had even offered Patton a ride to his next job a couple times. Patton had refused at first, not wanting to take Mark’s time, and also being a bit wary of the boy, despite them talking for months prior. But eventually, with a bit of persuasion and a  _ lot  _ of reassurance, Patton began to accept his offers. It made things a lot easier for Patton, and he found it easier to complete his job when he wasn’t tired from running all the way across town. Eventually, Patton invited Mark over to his apartment to have a movie night to thank him. Mark gladly accepted, and the two had a great night! Mark loved cuddling on the couch with Patton, and Patton couldn’t help but fall even deeper in love when Mark hugged Patton throughout the entire movie. 

Patton rarely touched anyone anymore, and he craved human contact more than anything. He wasn’t sure how he felt about how Mark would let his hands roam, but maybe this was normal? Patton had never had any real friends, so he didn’t know what it was supposed to be like, and when after months of them hanging out together at Patton’s place had passed and Mark asked Patton to be his boyfriend, Patton decided that it was all okay as long as he got to keep Mark in his life. Patton would be willing to sacrifice anything if it meant he could keep Mark’s warm praise and protective hugs in his life. 

Patton loved Mark a lot. So what if sometimes he would trigger Patton into flashbacks a lot. It wasn’t on purpose, and Mark  _ always  _ apologized after. Plus, he only did it on purpose when he was angry, and Patton probably deserved it if he made his boyfriend angry. Boyfriends were supposed to make eachother happy, so if he was doing a bad job then why wouldn’t he deserve a punishment? Plus, it wasn’t all that bad! And Mark still hugged Patton during movie nights most of the time, so he must be doing something right! It would all be worth it if Patton could keep Mark around. Plus, like Mark had told him plenty of times before, Mark was the only one who could ever love Patton. There was nobody else out there who could love someone this messed up. Patton should be grateful for Mark. Mark was only trying to fix him! 

That’s all, he was just fixing Patton. All those times where he forced Patton to do things he wasn’t comfortable with, or insisted that Patton wasn’t truly ace, Mark was just trying to fix him! Every time Mark would see Patton eating a large meal and told him to cut it in half so he didn’t get fat, it was just Mark’s way of showing he cared, and Patton could take it. Sure, Mark was a bit…controlling… at times, but it was just because he knew that Patton was to dumb to make decicions on his own! And Patton didn’t mind. Sure he wasn’t the happiest when Mark had forced Patton to quit his jobs and move in with him so they could spend more time together, but he knew it was just because Mark loved him...  _ right? _ Of course Mark loved him! There goes his stupid brain again. Mark loves him, and that is a fact. And Patton loved Mark as well! And that’s why he was currently cleaning up smashed beer cans and food crumbs from the living room carpet. 

He really loved Mark with all his heart, but sometimes Patton wishes that his boyfriend wouldn’t make such a mess and then give Patton so little time to clean it. But that was alright, cleaning was the only thing Patton was good at anyways! Well, Mark used to say Patton was a good toy, but Patton hadn’t heard him say that in a while, although Patton also realizes that Mark hasn’t been home a lot recently, and when he was he rarely wanted to have sex with Patton. That was okay, he guessed. He wasn’t really the biggest fan of it anyways. It would always make him feel all dirty and gross, although he also felt really floaty while it was happening, like he was drifting in a cloud. Patton didn’t like the way it felt, but he guessed it was better than not drifting, because when he wasn’t drifting Mark was always extra rough, and Patton would always be in pain when that happened. Mark said he was supposed to like the pain, but Patton didn’t really get it. But if it made his boyfriend happy, then Patton would do it a million times over! 

Patton was just putting the vacuum away when he heard the click of the door being unlocked. A smile spread across Patton’s face as he raced to put away the vacuum and meet his boyfriend at the door. He knew it was late, but maybe Mark would want to watch a movie with him- 

“Pet, can you put her on the bed?” Mark asked, shoving an obviously drugged teenage girl into Patton’s arms. 

“Of course, right away, sir!” Patton replied. The response was so quick and practiced it might as well have been an automated message. 

“That’s my good boy,” Mark praised, giving Patton a quick peck on the lips before moving to the kitchen. Patton’s grin grew impossibly wider as he bounced a bit on his feet, before a groan from the girl in his arms spurred him back into motion. He had a task to complete, and Mark said he was a good boy! Maybe if he did good at this too Mark would say he deserved a reward and they could watch a movie together, or maybe he would even get to eat dinner tonight! 

With this in mind, Patton picked the girl up properly in his arms and moved her to the bed. He gently set her down and took the nice blankets off of the bed, replacing them with the ones Patton was supposed to use when Mark came home with people like this. They weren’t as expensive and were already stained. When Patton was about to leave, he felt a tug on his wrist. Despite his years of conditioning with Mark, that was one specific trigger they could never get rid of. Patton wasn’t quite sure why that one in particular was so stubborn, but it stayed, as did his reaction. Patton yelped, and quickly grabbed his hand out of the woman’s grip stumbling back against the wall. Patton’s breathing was erratic as he heard rushed and angry footsteps coming to the bedroom door. Patton quickly fell to the floor, curling tightly around himself to try and block out the offending memories that tried to play through his head. He barely registered Mark coming in and yelling at him, kicking at Patton’s sides until he was forcefully pried open from his curled up position. 

_ “I’m sorry, sir! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!”  _ Patton cried, kneeling down in front of Mark in hopes to appease his boyfriend. He didn’t feel like getting beat tonight. But it would appear luck was not in his favor, as Mark continued to punch and kick until Patton lay a whimpering mess on the ground. 

“Shut up you worthless mutt!” Mark yelled at him, sending one last blow to Patton’s stomach before standing threateningly over the 18 year old boy. “You better get in your cage right now or you will wish you were never born! You will stay there for as long as I deem fit, but you won’t be getting out of there for at least a day. And there will be no food or water! You need to learn what happens when you mess up.” 

“No! Please sir!” Patton begged. “I haven’t eaten in two weeks, please sir! I’ll do anything! Pleas-” Patton was cut off by a foot to his face, hitting him right in the eye, causing Patton to scream in pain. 

“Quiet! You will wake the neighbors with all of this racket! If you don’t get in the cage this instant, we will be over. And don’t think I will hesitate to kick you out of this house.” He snarled. 

Patton couldn’t move, he was stuck in place by some invisible force. He wanted to move, to assure his boyfriend that he still loved him and that he would get in the cage, but he just couldn’t. After a minute of just lying there, Patton was roughly grabbed by his hair and dragged to the front door where Mark tossed him out onto the lawn like a ragdoll. Patton whimpered in pain as he hit the ground, the wet grass not doing much to lessen the impact and the pouring rain wetting his skin. The scene was all too familiar 

“I can’t believe I ever put my lips on yours. Good riddance you filthy dirt bag.” 

Those words were also familiar. They were similar to the ones his dad had yelled after kicking him onto the streets. But most familiar of all, were the tears that rolled down his face and the feeling of self hatred and helplessness that washed over him as he lay there on the cold wet ground underneath the pouring rain in the middle of the night. Patton lay there until morning, hoping that by some miracle Mark would come back and pick Patton up in his arms, tell him that it was all a mistake and that he still loved Patton. But that moment never came. Instead, as the next evening rolled around, Patton found himself fleeing the yard as Mark threatened to call the cops. 

Patton fled the yard, shivering in the cold air as he ran out of the neighborhood and turned street corner after street corner, not knowing where he was going other than away from Mark. After running for about 5 minutes, Patton was forced to slow down and lean on a lamp post to keep himself from passing out. He was used to not having food for long periods of time, but he still got dizzy a lot, and physical activity was exhausting. Plus, the fact that he felt like a walking bruise didn’t help. The sky was darkening as Patton sat down on an old stone wall on the edge of someone’s property. He buried his face in his hands as tears rolled down his cheeks. Patton had no idea where he was. He had rarely been allowed outside of the house, and even when he had been outside, Matthew had always driven them to town, so Patton had no clue where the nearest town was, or what jobs they would have to offer. Patton didn’t even know if he could handle having a job anymore. He would do it because he had to, but it was no doubt going to be a nightmare. He couldn’t even run for more than 5 minutes before nearly passing out, how was he supposed to hold multiple jobs at once? And where would he sleep until he could find housing? These were all questions that needed answers, and Patton couldn't help but fixate on the fact that held none of them. 

And not for the first time in his life, Patton found himself utterly and unequivocally _alone._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the awkward cut offs. This was originally meant to be written as one singular story, and wasn't written in chapter format, so I just kind of have to cut it off where one general section of the story ends.

As the hours of the night ticked by, Patton couldn’t bring himself to focus on how to stay alive. All he could think about was how Mark had literally  _ thrown him out _ . He thought Mark had _loved him_ …. Was he really that oblivious? Was it something he did? Sure, Mark had never liked dealing with Patton’s PTSD once he had moved in, and he had always either used it as a tool for punishment or a  _ reason  _ for punishment, but Mark knew not to grab Patton by the wrist. Mark  _ knew  _ that Patton usually had a hard time moving after bad flashbacks, so he should have known that Patton wouldn’t be able to move when he added the beating on top of that. Mark is smart, so Mark would have remembered… right? But if Mark remembered, that means that he set Patton up and kicked him out on purpose! And that can’t be right, because Mark loved him. No, it was Patton that had caused this. He was just too worthless and dumb to understand it. That had to be it… 

Patton didn’t even register the morning sun creeping up the horizon as he sat dazed on a stone wall at the edge of someone’s yard. However, he was quickly snapped out of his daze by loud barking sounding from behind him. Patton nearly jumped out of his skin as two giant Bernese mountain dogs came running towards the stone wall, barking and snarling. Patton let out a shriek of terror as he flew backwards off of the wall, scrambling back to the curb of the street, collapsing to his knees by the edge of the road. And just as Patton thought he had run out of tears, a new wave crashed over him and he was sobbing into his knees as he hugged himself. He was vaguely aware that the barking had stopped, but he just couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t even notice as someone ran up to him, trying to ask what was wrong. 

Suddenly, Patton felt a hand on his arm, and he violently jerked back, sputtering apology after apology. 

“ _ I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me! I’ll be good, I promise!”  _ Patton wailed, not entirely sure what was going on. He knew he was crying, and that there was a person in front of him. 

People never liked it when he cried, they got annoyed with him for being emotional. Mark and Dad had always gotten mad when he cried, that had always ended in beatings.  _ He didn’t want to be hurt anymore _ . _stop crying, stop crying, stopcrying, STOPCRYING-_

“Shit. _ EMILE!”  _ Patton vaguely heard the voice call, although he couldn’t hear much of anything.

His ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton, and his vision was all blurry. He wasn’t really sure what parts of what he was seeing was real. This man seemed real- _ he had thought Mark’s love was real _ .  _ He missed Mark.  _ Mark would always tell him what to do, and now that Mark was gone, Patton didn’t know what to do. Patton didn’t know how to make decisions. He was dumb, and stupid, and naive- 

Patton’s train of thought was interrupted by something warm covering him. It felt kind of like a blanket, but it was heavier. Patton decided that he liked this blanket. Patton relaxed a bit under the weight of the blanket, slowly unfurling from his curled up position as his hearing came back to him. 

“ _ Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe. Keep breathing, hun. You’re safe here.”  _ A soft voice repeated. Patton didn’t know why, but he felt like he could trust this voice, so he did as it instructed and tried to take more air into his lungs. 

It was a struggle at first, he felt like he couldn’t get in any air, but the voice told him what to do and helped him breathe. Once Patton’s breathing was more tame, he immediately slouched into himself, having exhausted every ounce of energy he had left. His stomach twisted and churned, causing Patton to wince as another hunger pang was sent through his body. He couldn’t have stayed awake if he wanted to, so after muttering another soft apology, Patton let the darkness take over and passed out. 

… 

Patton woke up to something warm and wet smearing across his face. He opened his eyes, blinking twice before a large furry dog came into focus. Patton muffled a shriek of surprise and stared wide eyed at the animal standing in front of him. Patton also vaguely registered that he was on something soft, a couch maybe? Patton cautiously sat up, but quickly fell back down at the spike of pain that bolted through his head when he tried to sit upright. When he let out a pained whimper, the dog stuck its face in Patton’s once again, sniffing all over to try and find what was distressing the human. When the dog couldn’t find anything, but Patton still seemed to be in pain, it started whining. 

“ _ Nuu, doggie, staphit.”  _ Patton mumbled, trying to get his bearings on the situation, but it was hard when the room seemed to be spinning in front of him. 

“Daisy, leave the poor guy alone.” A familiar voice scolded. It took a second for the identity to register, but once it did, Patton shot up in shock, thoroughly regretting it when the room dissolved into Van Goh’s swirls. But Patton needed to know if this was really who he thought it was. 

“ _ Ellie? _ ” Patton called quietly, trying to shake the sleep from his voice. “ _ Is it really you? _ ” 

The room went silent for a second, but soon enough the voice gave a hesitant reply. 

“ _ Pat? _ ” 

It was a question, rather than a statement, but Patton could understand the confusion. He was surprised Elliot even remembered him at all. Elliot had been seven when he had last seen Patton, and they never even got to properly say goodbye. Ricky decided that adoption day was a good day to make Patton’s life as miserable as possible, and Patton had been out cold when Elliot had been taken away. Patton was never sure if he had been adopted, or sent off to foster care, but he had missed Elliot ever since. It had been 5 years since they last spoke.

As Patton’s world stopped spinning, he could finally make out the figure crouched on the other side of the room. Elliot looked different now, his previously black hair was now a medium brown, and he was wearing medium dark brown eyeshadow and a flannel. He looked very little like the kid who he had once known, but Patton never forgets his kiddos, and Elliot’s face is still the same. There was still that spattering of freckles that he had always been so insecure about, and his green eyes still shone brightly in the fading light. 

“It’s been so long, El. How’s my favorite little guy doing?” Patton asked softly, a smile spreading across his lips. Elliot laughed and sat himself down next to Patton on the couch, leaning into Patton’s side like old times. Patton wrapped an arm around his shoulder in a sort of single arm side hug as the teenager spoke. 

“Well, a lot has changed, but I’m doing pretty well.” Elliot said, he hesitated before continuing. “Umm, this might come as a surprise, and is probably a bit sudden, but I’m actually non-binary. So I use they/them pronouns. I understand that it might be hard in the beginning, but I would appreciate it if you could use gender neutral terms. I-I hope you’re okay with that. “ Elliot explained, moving their gaze to their lap. 

“El, can you look at me?” Patton requested softly, using his hand to gently guide Elliot’s chin so that the teenager was looking at him. Patton gave a teary smile before responding. “I will always love you, no matter what gender you are. You could come out as genderfluid tomorrow and my feelings about you wouldn’t change. I care about you because you are the kind, amazing, funny, Elliot, and if Elliot is non-binary, than that’s just who they are. It doesn’t change anything for me. I’m sorry I misgendered you, kiddo. Is there another name you go by now?” Patton asked.

“No, it’s still Elliot,” They confirmed, nuzzling closer into Patton’s side and giving him a bright smile. Patton had forgotten how much he had missed that smile. “Have I ever told you that you are the best?” Elliot teased. 

“I don’t know, but you might just have to say it again anyways. My hearing ain’t what it used to be.” Patton joked back, giving Elliot’s arm a quick squeeze. 

Elliot jokingly elbowed Patton in the ribs, but the mood quickly sombered when Patton let out a gasp of pain when Elliot’s elbow made contact with his torso. Elliot pulled out of the embrace immediately and looked to Patton with an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry, Pat. I forgot that pops said you were pretty roughed up. Where did you even get all those bruises anyways? I wasn’t allowed to see them, but Dad and Pop said they looked pretty bad.” Elliot asked, sending the room into uncomfortable silence. 

“I-um, can we leave that conversation for later El? I promise I will tell you later, but I kind of want to know where I am right now.” Patton changed the topic. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t think Elliot could handle the topic, after all, he was in middle school now, and middle school was full of people who were dating, and it wasn’t like Mark had done anything out of the ordinary. It was more than Patton didn’t want Elliot to judge him for being kicked out, or for messing up so badly all these years. Elliot was still talking to him, which means that they probably didn’t realize how messed up Patton was. And Patton would like to keep it that way for as long as possible. Elliot reluctantly allowed the topic change, standing up to stand in front of Patton and gesture grandly to the room they were in. 

“Well, welcome to the humble house of the Picani’s!” They greeted dramatically before plopping down next to Patton once again. “Dad had to go to work and Pop is in the basement or something. Dad should be back soon though.” He explained. 

“Well lucky for you, dad has arrived!” A man in a sweater vest and pink tie came walking into the room. His honey colored eyes were framed by a pair of glasses similar to Patton’s own. The man walked up to Patton and held out a hand. “Greetings! Do you how do? My name is Dr. Picani, but you can just call me Emile.” 

Patton blinked in confusion for a moment before realizing that he was probably waiting for a response. Patton quickly shot out his hand to shake Dr. Picani’s. 

“O-oh, um I-I’m alright. It’s nice to meet you Emile.I’m Patton.” Patton introduced himself, internally cursing himself for stuttering. 

“The pleasure is all mine! Do you remember how you got here, Patton?” Emile asked. It was an odd question, but as Patton tried to think back to what had happened, he couldn’t really remember much. 

“N-not really,” Patton admitted. “I-I remember sitting on a stone wall, and then there was a loud noise. I think it was… dogs...barking?” Patton said, although it sounded more like a question than a statement. As soon as Patton made eye contact with the large dog still sitting by his feet, it all came together. “Oh, that must have been you, huh pup?” The dog simply looked up at Patton with one of those doggy smiles, and Patton couldn’t help but laugh as he bent down to pet the dog. “You’re not nearly as scary when you aren’t running after me.” He conceded. 

“Yeah, they can be scary if you aren’t expecting them,” Emile agreed. “ Do you remember what happened after you got scared?” 

Patton shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t remember anything after that. Sorry.” Patton apologized, keeping his gaze down on the dog as he ran his hands through it’s soft fur. 

“That’s alright, Patton. There’s nothing to apologize for,” Emile reassured him. “You were panicking when my husband Remy found you and tried to comfort you, but I think he accidentally made you panic more. I brought out the weighted blanket to try and calm you down since you were unresponsive to us, and you did calm down, but then you passed out.” The man explained. “You’ve been asleep for most of the day, and I assume you met Elliot!” 

“Yeah, about that,” Elliot said with a sheepish grin. “This is actually the same Pat used to tell you about. The one from the orphanage?” They explained. 

Emile’s eyes flashed with recognition, and his grin grew just a bit wider.

“Oh! So you’re the infamous Pat,” Emile said with a grin. “When El was younger, right after we started fostering them, they would always tell us about your amazing stories. I was sad that we didn’t get to meet you that day, but Elliot couldn’t find you before we had to leave.” He explained. Patton blushed at the praise, his hand coming up to nervously twirl a strand of his hair.

“Aw, shucks! I didn’t even realize that the kids would remember me when they left, let alone tell people about my stories,” Patton gushed. “Also, I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you, I was- uh….” Patton hesitated, not exactly wanting to say that he had passed out in the stairway. “I was, uh, asleep. Yeah…” The room fell into awkward silence at Patton’s obvious lie, but eventually Elliot broke the silence.

“You don’t need to lie about it, Pat,” They reassured Patton, “ Dad’s a therapist, he’s not going to judge you. Plus, there is a big difference between asleep and passed out on the stairs thanks to Ricky being a jackass.” 

“Language,” Patton scolded. “Also, don’t be so harsh of Ricky, kiddo. I’m sure he had his reasons. Maybe I did something to make him mad that I don’t remember.” He tried to justify his bully’s actions, but every word just seemed to ignite a larger fire in Elliot’s eyes. 

“Patton, no mistake deserves using someone’s trauma against them!” Patton flinched at the cold tone of Elliot’s voice, subconsciously curling in on himself as Elliot went on a fuming angry rant. “Ricky was an asshole, plain and simple. He literally made you pass out-“

“Elliot, I need you to calm down. Go take 5 outside and then come back.” Emile instructed, his voice gentle but stern. Elliot just got up and left the room, storming out the front door and into the yard. Emile turned back to Patton, who was still curled in on himself, and was about to place a hand on Patton’s back before thinking better of it. “May I touch your back?” Emile murmured, waiting until Patton gave him permission before gently placing his hand on Patton’s back and running it up and down the boy’s back. 

Patton let out a soft sigh at the touch, leaning into Emile, who had sat himself beside Patton on the couch. 

“I’m sorry about that, bud. I think El just got mad when you implied that it would be okay for someone to hurt you for something you don’t even remember doing.” Emile explained, keeping his voice low and soft. 

“It’s okay, they’ll learn soon enough,” Patton said. “I’d rather he- I mean, they- keep that innocence for as long as they can.” 

“ what do you think they will learn?” Emile asked cautiously, hoping against hope that the boy didn’t mean what he thought he meant. 

Patton fixed Emile with a curious glance, as if the answer should be obvious. But maybe this was a test! Patton had never been good at tests in school, but Mark made sure he knew the rules. Maybe Emile just wanted to make sure he knew them.

“That sometimes people hurt you because they care about you and they just need to make sure that you follow the rules. And that when you do something wrong you deserve whatever punishment your superiors see fit.” Patton nervously parroted, hoping that he said the right thing. 

Emile looked at him with sad eyes, wondering what had happened to the glorious storyteller he had heard about. Emile continued rubbing a hand up and down Patton’s back as they sat in silence for a moment. Emile could feel Patton tensing up in the silence, so he carefully thought out a response. 

“Are those what the bruises are from?” Emile asked softly. Patton gave a hesitant nod. 

“Mark preferred to make sure I didn’t forget my lessons too soon. I appreciate that though, my brain is too dumb to understand things sometimes. He was just doing what he had to do to make sure I was a good person. I know he loves me, or.. he did. But he told me to get out of the house or he would call the police…” Patton explained, leaning further into Emile’s side to try and find any source of comfort he could. “I was bad. I reacted when he grabbed my wrist. I’m not supposed to do that. He got angry and punished me, but I didn’t go into the cage like he asked, so he tossed me outside. I thought he would come back and tell me that he loved me, and that I had learned my lesson. But I’m sure he’ll come find me. He has to love me. I was just being stupid. He loves me, and I love him. I’m not a good boyfriend, so he just had to make sure I remembered it.” 

Patton was holding back tears as he stared at the floor. The dog sat up and placed its head on Patton’s lap, nudging Patton’s hands away from where they were rubbing at his arms. Patton chuckled at the dog and went to scratch behind its ears. He was petting the dog when he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch and quickly turn his gaze towards Emile, who was looking at him with a sad look in his honey eyes.

“Patton, I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay?” Emile asked, waiting for Patton to give him a small nod before continuing. “I don’t know what happened in your boyfriend’s house, or anywhere else you have been, but in this house you will never be punished for making mistakes,” He said slowly, making sure that Patton was hearing and comprehending him. Patton looked up at him with so much confusion and hurt that it took all of Emile’s strength and training as a therapist to not tackle this boy in a hug and never let go. “In this family, and in most others, to love someone means that you will never cause them pain or discomfort on purpose.  _ Even  _ if you mess up really badly, if someone cares for you then they will not harm you in any way.” 

“Patton, from what I have heard, what you had with Mark wasn’t a healthy relationship. It was based on him being your superior and disregarding your rights for his pleasure. No one has the right to hit you or take away your rights to food or water just because you ‘messed up’. That’s not love Patton, that’s abuse.” Emile explained, bracing himself for Patton’s inevitable rejection of the notion. 

Emile had seen it countless times before in almost every abuse patient. Granted, it wouldn’t normally be so strong, but Emile had only had a few patients who had been as far gone as Patton. People who had been abuse victims for long periods of time often didn’t want to believe that it wasn’t love because that was the only kind of love they had ever known, and the notion that it  _ was  _ love had probably been drilled into their heads by their abusers. 

“No, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong,” Patton said firmly, although his voice wavered with conflicting emotion. “He loved me, that’s what love is; wanting your partner to be their best selves. And if I was being a bad person, then he had every right to hurt me so I knew to do better. That’s normal. That’s  _ love _ .” He desperately argued, his heart rate picking up at the mere idea of even  _ pondering  _ the fact that Mark had been wrong, and that he hadn’t really loved Patton. Had it really only taken minutes to start undoing all of the lessons Mark had taught him? Was he that horrible?

“No, Patton. That’s not what a good relationship looks like.” Emile stayed firm, knowing that he needed to drill this into his head. “ I have been married to Remy for 10 years, and not once have I ever hit him, and he has never hit me. Nor did  _ either  _ of us  _ ever  _ tell the other that they couldn’t eat or drink, no matter how bad we messed up.” He reasoned, trying to get through to Patton, although he could tell he was likely fighting a losing battle. “We fight sometimes, and no matter what the topic is we always either resolve it or take a break before returning to the topic. I have never purposefully hurt Remy and he has not  _ and never will _ purposefully hurt me.” 

  
  


Patton’s breaths were quick and shallow as he turned over those words in his mind.  _ Love meant not hurting someone _ .  _ But Mark hurt me, and Mark loved me, right? He loved me, he loved me! He has to love me!  _ Patton violently flinched back as Emile tried to get his attention. Patton didn’t know what was happening, but he knew that Emile was lying.  _ He had to be lying.  _ Patton didn’t like liars, that’s why he liked Mark. Mark wasn’t afraid to tell him that he was being bad, or that he had messed up and was unworthy of food or water. Mark had just told him and then made sure he was punished. That was  _ supposed  _ to happen. It wasn’t  _ abuse _ , it was  _ love _ .  **_It had to be love._ **

“ **_You’re wrong!_ ** _ ”  _ Patton screamed. “ _ You’re wrong! You have to be wrong!”  _ He was in hysterics at this point, loudly crying as he made a dash for the front door. Emile tried to run after him, but despite being severely underweight and not healthy by any means, Patton was a fast runner, and the therapist was unable to catch up to the teen as he rushed out of the house.

A few moments after Patton had left, Elliot came crashing into the door, looking panicked. 

“ _What. The HECK. Just happened."_


	4. Chapter 4

Patton was  _ really  _ starting to remember how much he hated running. Yet for some reason, here he was running for the second time in 24 hours, yet again, with no idea where to go. He had pushed away the only person who had shown him kindness (although he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Emile was lying, and lying meant punishment. He knew better than to stick around for that part.) but he also ran away from Elliot, and he felt kind of guilty about that.

Patton had been so excited to be able to see Elliot again, and he didn’t even get to say goodbye… Hopefully Elliot was okay. They seemed to be really angry when Patton had mentioned his punishments. Emile had said that there were no punishments in their house, but Patton just couldn’t understand how that worked! There had always been some kind of punishment in his life, it’s how he knew he wasn’t good enough to be loved. It started with his father, and then when he came to the orphanage he had Ricky to do the job. Plus, Patton had always thought of the times he wasn’t allowed to eat meals once he gained consciousness if he passed out through meal time as a punishment. It may have never been called one, but Patton knew what a punishment was. He passed out, he was useless, he deserved to be punished. That’s just how the world works. Emile was a grown man, surely he knew that? Maybe it was another test? If it was, Patton was pretty sure he had failed. 

Not long after he had started running, Patton was forced to slow down and catch his breath. He still continued walking, fearing what would happen if he stopped, but his pace had slowed considerably. His head felt fogged up, and he wasn’t entirely sure where he was headed. He knew he was headed to the nearest town center, but he didn’t exactly know where that was, and without a phone he had no way of finding out. He continued walking down the streets as the sun crawled it’s way up and down the horizon. The pale light of the sunset shone through the trees as Patton finally had to stop and sit down on the edge of the road. He was beginning to lose hope that he would ever get out of this suburban labyrinth. 

He was just so  _ tired _ . It felt like he had no energy left, and he was honestly tempted to just let the safety of sleep overcome him. He was about to do so when he could see an influx of light from behind his eyelids. He cracked open his eyes to see a pair of headlights approaching. Desperate for a way out of here, Patton summoned up every scrap of strength he had, shakily got to his feel, and waved his arms around in a signal to stop. 

The car slowly came to a halt in front of him, and Patton moved to the window, which was being rolled down. He looked into the driver's seat to see an annoyed looking teenage girl, probably no older than he was, who raised her eyebrow in impatience when he didn’t say anything. 

“What do you need, kid, I don’t have all day.” She drawled.

“R-right, sorry,” Patton apologized, immediately cutting to the chase. “I was wondering if you knew where the nearest town was?” He asked “I need to get there, but I don’t know my way around this area.” He confessed.

‘Why don’t you just use your  _ phone  _ dumbas-” 

“That’s enough out of you young lady!” An older voice sounded from the backseat. Patton startled at the sound of the voice, but let some of the tension fall from his shoulders as he saw an old lady in the back of the car. The older lady turned to face Patton. 

“Why are you out here on your own, dear?” She asked. “Do you need me to call someone to come get you? You look like you’ve been through hell and back, son.” She offered. 

Patton shook his head,  _ who was there to call? _

“Thank you for the kind offer Ma’am, but there’s no one to call. If it isn’t a bother, some directions to the nearest town would be much appreciated.” He requested. He did his best to keep a smile of his face, but it was a hard task under the scrutinizing eyes of this woman. Patton felt as though he were completely naked under her gaze. It was as though she were able to see right through him. Patton squirmed uncomfortably in the awkward silence, and the woman eventually relented and sent a quick glance to the teenager, who had pulled out a nail file in the time they were talking and had started to file down her nails. 

The older woman’s gaze softened as she looked back to Patton. 

“I’m not leaving you out here alone, boy. Tell you what, why don’t you come with us for now, and we can figure out what to do after dinner. You look like you could use some meat on those bones.” She offered, although Patton could tell that he didn’t really have a choice. 

There was a sort of determination in this woman’s eyes that quickly dissolved any argument he might have had. The growling of his painfully empty stomach and the pain that followed was enough to vanquish any last thoughts of refusal. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, Ma’am, that would be wonderful. Thank you for your kindness.” Patton thanked her. 

  
  


“Gram, we can’t just go picking random strangers up off of the street! Plus, Marlo is coming over for dinner with his partner Taylor, remember? They drove all the way from Boston to come see us this weekend. Do you really just want to pull that on them?” She protested, but the grandmother simply gave the teen a level look that could have scared off the mightiest of creatures. 

“I’m sure they won’t mind, dear. You know that Taylor would gladly help anyone they came across, and Marlo will literally support almost any decision Taylor makes because he knows full well who had the larger sum of brain cells in that relationship,” She said calmly. “Now, please open the door for our guest.” 

Her tone left no room for negotiation. Heaving a dramatic sigh, the girl unlocked the car door and gestured for Patton to get in. 

Patton muttered his thanks as he swiftly sat down in the car, closed the door, and buckled in. It took a moment for him to adjust to the foreign feeling of being in a car, but the tension slowly lessened as the trees passed by in the light of the fading sunset. As they drove, Patton allowed himself to be curious about this family. From what he knew, there was the girl, her grandmother, a presumably older, sibling named Marlo. And then there was Marlo’s partner, Taylor. Patton couldn’t help but smile as the name brought back wonderful memories. 

He had met Taylor when he first came to the orphanage. Patton had been 6 and Taylor had been 10. They hadn’t interacted much at first, as Patton had been bounced around foster homes and was quite withdrawn during his first couple years. However, by the time Patton was 11, and he had run out of foster homes to go to, Taylor became a sort of older sibling to him. They would always make sure to bring him food if he missed meals, or even just take the time to talk to him. Patton had been devastated when Taylor had to leave for college. He knew that going to college would be the best option for them, and that it was selfish to want to forfeit their future just to keep them around. Plus, Patton had started talking to Dee shortly before Taylor had told him that they would be going out of state for college.  _ Where did they go again? _ Patton wondered, trying to recall where Taylor had said they were going.  _ He thought it was somewhere in Massachusetts,  _ Patton’s hand mindlessly traced the scars on his arms as he strained his memory to recall.  _ Ba…- no, Boss... - Boston College!  _ Patton finally recalled.  _ Didn’t the girl say that their Taylor was also coming in from Boston?  _ He pondered. The similarities were actually quite shocking, but Patton didn’t even dare start that train of thought. He knew his heart would be broken when he found out that it wasn’t  _ his  _ Taylor, and he didn’t want to put himself through that.

Patton was shaken out of his thoughts as they pulled up to a two story house with light slightly desaturated yellow walls and white shutters. Patton quickly followed as the girl in the driver’s seat got out of the car. He immediately went to the back door and made sure that the older woman didn’t need any help. He was about to offer her a hand out of the car when he heard a familiar voice from the entryway to the house.

“ _ Took you long enough. I was beginning to think that you forgot about us!”  _

The voice had Patton’s breath hitching.  _ It can’t be them… Taylor is gone, and that’s that. Don’t get your hopes up Patton. Plenty of people have similar voices.  _

Patton flinched as a soft hand landed on his shoulder. He gasped slightly and jumped away from the sudden touch. He whipped around, only to see the grandmother looking at him with concerned eyes. 

“S-sorry,” Patton apologized. “You just caught me off guard, I guess.” He gave a weak excuse. He really wasn’t sure he was capable of thinking of a better one. His brain was fogged with exhaustion and his legs felt like they were shaking under him, ready to givve out at any moment. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for, son,” She assured him. Her lips thinned into a straight line, and her brows furrowed in concern. “Now, let’s get you inside. You’re not looking too good, dear.” She offered, gently placing a hand on the small of his back and guiding him over to the door. 

The girl who had been driving the car was chatting with two other people by the door. One of them was a boy who looked to be in his early twenties or so. He had dark mousy brown hair that was slightly longer and poofier on the top while the sides were a bit closer to his head. He had light hazel eyes and wore an oversized band T-shirt from some band Patton didn’t recognize with an old worn out leather jacket on top. Patton froze in his tracks when he saw the second person who was standing next to the guy, who quickly turned to face them as they walked up.

“Grandma! Good to see you! I was beginning to think you had forgotten about u-”

“ _ Pat? _ ” 

Only in that moment did Patton realize how much he had missed that voice. Patton raised his gaze to meet eyes with someone whom he had never thought he would see again, but is very glad he gets to. He gives a small lopsided smile as his eyes meet Taylor’s icy greyish blue eyes.

“ _ Hey, Lori _ ” 

It was so quiet that you could have missed it, but it was obvious that they had heard. 

“Is that all the greetings I get?” They teased, a wide grin gracing their lips. “Honestly, Pat. This is how you greet your oldest sibli- _ oof! _ ” 

Patton launched himself as Taylor, wrapping his arms around their torso. It was only a moment before they wrapped their arms tightly around Patton in return. Patton buried his face into the crook of Taylor’s neck, his grip never loosening as Taylor began to gently rock them back and forth, using one hand to run his fingers through Patton’s curls. There was a moment of silence before someone spoke up. 

“Who’s this, Lor?” The man (presumably Marlo) asked quietly. 

“Pat, do you want to come out and introduce yourself? Or are you just gonna be a little sleepy koala for the rest of the time?” They asked with a grin. They were obviously holding back laughter as they took the hand that was running through Patton’s hair and slowly let it drop, just barely touching the back of his neck. 

“ _ I swear to god, if you do that spider thing I will tell everyone here about the time you came back to the orphanage crying because someone told you that your backpack was too blue-”  _

“No, no no! No one needs to hear that one, Pat. Thanks for the offer though,” They quickly interrupted. Patton could practically feel the embarrassment coming off of them in hot waves. He could only imagine how red their face must be. “Remind me not to mess with  _ you  _ again.” They joked, ruffling Patton’s hair, earning a surprised squeak out of the teen. 

“Everyone, this is Patton. The most amazing child to ever exist on this planet earth,” They introduced him to the other three. “We met at the orphanage and have been best buds ever since. He is my little puffball and if any of you hurt him I will not hesitate to break your legs.” 

“ _ Tay.., _ Patton murmured, There was a slight tremble in his voice that immediately caught Taylor’s attention. The joking smile dropped from Taylor’s face as they loosened their grip on Patton, leaving it tight enough to still be comforting, but loose enough that he could pull away if he wanted to. Patton was using  _ that  _ tone of voice. It was only vaguely familiar to Taylor after so many years apart, but he would never truly forget the nights that he held Patton close as the boy cried himself out, leaking tears as if it would somehow erase years of trauma. 

“What’s wrong, bug?” Taylor asked quietly, resting their head gently in Patton’s hair.

“ _ No hurting people… “  _ He whispered lowly, burying his head further into Taylor’s shoulder. “ _ ‘Don want people to hurt.”  _

“No hurting people,” Taylor copied. “I promise you that I wouldn’t actually hurt anyone, Patton. It was a joke, but a poorly placed one. I promise, no one is going to get hurt. We’re all safe here, as are you.” They reassured him. 

Patton relaxed a bit, leaning into Taylor’s chest as they stood in comfortable silence. 

“How about we all head inside,” The older woman suggested, resting a hand on her grandson’s shoulder. “Marlo, Kenzie, would you two go start on dinner please? I’ll be with you in a moment.” she instructed, gently herding the two inside of the house. She paused in the doorway and turned back to the pair still standing on the porch with a soft smile. “You two can join us when you’re ready. We will be in the kitchen.” And with that, she closed the door, leaving Taylor and Patton still standing in each other's embraces in the pleasant early autumn air. 

They stood in silence for a bit longer. Taylor wanted to wait for Patton to start the conversation, but as the silence dragged on and the evening air became colder, Taylor decided to break the spell. 

“Hey,” He murmured, into Patton’s ear. Do you want to go inside? We can go sit on the couch if you want. I don’t want you to get cold out here. You’re really skinny, bug,” They observed, their concern for the boy growing with every rib they could feel as they ran their hands over Patton’s sides.

“ _ Promise....”  _ Patton trailed off for a moment before speaking again.  _ “Promise you won’t leave me?”  _ He whispered. Taylor gave Patton a gentle squeeze before pulling out of the embrace and bending down to look Patton in the eyes. 

“I promise, bug. I won’t leave you.” They promised, placing a gentle hand at the small of Patton’s back and leading the boy inside.

Once inside the house, Taylor led Patton to the couch, where they sat down together, listening to the sounds of the kitchen as Patton leaned into Taylor’s side, desperately trying to stay awake. Taylor must have noticed, because Patton soon felt a blanket being wrapped around his shoulders as Taylor gently maneuvered Patton so that his head was in their lap. 

“You can take a nap, Patton.” They offered, bringing a hand to Patton’s head and gently running his fingers through the messy curls. “Dinner will probably take a while, and I promise I’ll wake you up when it’s time to eat.” They reassured him. Patton mewled sleepily when Taylor brushed a hand over his cheek. 

“Are you sure, Tay? I don’t wanna be a burden or anything, I can stay awake,” He protested. 

“Nope. Off to dreamland with you, Bug,” They teased, planting a light kiss to Patton’s temple. “You’re not a burden, Patton. I promise. Sleep well, Pat.” 

Without any more resistance, Patton practically went limp in Taylor’s lap, letting exhaustion take over him. 

Taylor carded his hand through the sleeping teen’s hair as Patton’s breath became slow and deep. As Patton was released into the arms of the sandman, Taylor felt the smile fall off of their face as they finally were able to get a good look at Patton. 

There were newly forming bruises on his face and arms, some of them suspiciously hand-shaped. His normally soft jawline was sharp and sunken in around the dark bruises that sat under the boy’s eyes. Taylor couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Patton couldn’t be any older than 17, meaning that he should still be in the orphanage, but the orphanage was hours away from here! Was he taken into an abusive foster home? Was it a street fight? How did Marlo’s grandmother even find him? 

Taylor was thinking of every possible reason when they felt a hand settle on their shoulder and a warm weight press into their side opposite of where Patton was laying.

“Hey, Lo,” Marlo whispered, pressing a quick kiss to their cheek. “How are you and your little friend doing?” 

Taylor returned the kiss before taking a deep breath, their gaze never straying from Patton’s face as they responded. 

“I’m worried about him, Mar,” They admitted. “He’s always been on the smaller side, and due to a lot of trauma and mental health crap he missed a lot of meals back at the orphanage, but I’ve never seen him so... _so.._ _Emaciated_. And the _bruises_ , Mar, I don’t know where he’s been all this time, but it obviously wasn’t a good place. I’m _scared_.” 

Taylor turned their face to the side, burying it in Marlo’s hair. 

“ _ Oh, hon, _ ” Marlo soothed when he felt something wet fall onto his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around his partner’s shoulders and ran his hand up and down Taylor’s arms in a soothing repetition. “ It will be alright, Lo. I  _ promise _ . If he is in a bad home, we’ll make sure to get him out, and if it is something else, then we will do our best to help in any way we can.” He promised. 

The three of them sat in silence for a while, soaking in the silence and the peaceful air of the house. However, after a while, the silence was broken by a small whimper from Patton as the boy shifted in Taylor’s lap. 

“ _ Shit _ ” Taylor cursed under their breath, quickly gathering the boy loosely in his arms and gently rocking them back and forth. 

“I hope this still works” They muttered before starting to sing softly into the boy’s ear.

“ _ Wise men say,”  _

The notes were a bit shaky as they started out, but they quickly evened out as Taylor sang to Patton, who was jerking around in his sleep, his face clenched as if he were in pain. 

_ “Only fools rush in,”  _

Patton jolted awake, a cry on his lips and tears streaming down his face as he thrashed around blindly in Taylor’s grip. Taylor resisted the thrashing, not holding him down, but not letting him go either. 

_ “But I can’t help falling in love with you” _

Patton’s thrashing slowed down as the song registered in his brain, he head jerked towards Taylor. His teary honey eyes met Taylor’s icy blue before Patton was crashing back into Taylor’s embrace, holding on for dear life as he sobbed into his foster sibling’s chest. 

“ _ Like the river flows, surely to the sea,”  _

Kenzie and her grandmother ran into the living room to see what the commotion was about, and were both comforted and heartbroken to see the boy sobbing brokenly into Taylor’s chest as they sang to him and held him close. 

_ “Darling so it goes,”  _

Taylor hung onto Patton just a little tighter as they felt a wet spot growing on their shirt,

“ _ Some things are meant to be.”  _

Everyone watched in silence as Taylor continued to sing softly and Patton’s cries began to turn to hiccuping gasps, and then to slightly more even breaths.

_ “Take my hand, take my whole life too.”  _

Patton slumped into Taylor’s chest, his grip on Taylor loosening with exhaustion. 

_ “For I can’t help,”  _

Taylor ran a hand through Patton’s hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“ _ Falling in love with you.” _

They finished quietly, running a hand up and down Patton’s back.

“Are you with me, bug?” Taylor asked quietly.

Patton took a moment to respond, but nodded slowly against Taylor’s chest. 

“Do you want to try and get some more sleep?” They murmured, carding a hand through Patton’s hair. 

Patton seemed to start to nod before hesitating, eventually setting on shaking his head. 

“Can you tell me why, Bug?” They asked, showing a strange maternal instinct that none of the others had ever seen before. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, but if there’s anything I can do to help or make you more comfortable I would like to help.” 

Patton went quiet for a minute, staring down at his lap. He opened and closed his mouth a few times. He tried to get the words out, but his tongue felt like lead, and he couldn’t quite get his mouth to work right. He huffed out a frustrated sigh before pulling back just enough to have room to sign his answer. 

‘ _ Don’t want to have more nightmares. Scared’  _ He signed shakily before wrapping his arms around himself and shifting himself so he was sitting sideways in Taylor’s lap with the side of his head against their chest. 

Taylor hummed in understanding and wrapped one arm around Patton, using the other to run their hand through his hair. The younger boy relaxed into the touch. 

“That’s alright, Pat, it’s okay to be scared,” They reassured him. “However, I want you to know that I will never let  _ anyone  _ lay a  _ finger  _ on you, because if they harm even a single hair on your head then I will call the rainbow spirits of gayness to go barf rainbows on their face until they regret their decisions and rethink their life choices.” 

It was such an absurd threat that Patton couldn’t help but giggle. He felt a little lighter now, and no matter how absurd the threat, Patton knew that Taylor really would protect him if it came down to it. 

“I’m sure you will, Lo.” Marlo teased, setting his face into a hard line before nodding seriously and sending a playful wink to Patton. “The gay gods are not to be messed with.Many have learned their lesson about messing with rainbows and glittery unicorns.” 

He said it with such a straight face that everyone in the room burst out laughing. They were laughing so hard that they almost missed the beeping of the oven. 

“ _ Holy mackerel!”  _ Marlo’s grandmother exclaimed before dashing into the kitchen. Her exclamation was followed by the sounds of pans clashing against each other, and a few more almost swears.

Patton giggled a little more, unable to get rid of the picture of angry unicorns vomiting rainbow glitter puke all over people. 

After a bit more clanging around in the kitchen, the grandmother called out, saying that dinner was ready. They all moved to the table and sat down, admiring the feast in front of them. It was no thanksgiving feast, but it was much more than Patton was accustomed to seeing. The table had a spread of grilled chicken, salad, mashed potatoes, and bread, along with a bowl of grapes. Patton simply stared at it for a second before he was broken out of his daze by Taylor passing him the mashed potatoes. He just blinked at it for a second, but Taylor waited patiently for the meaning to register in Patton’s mind. He jumped a little before quickly taking the bowl, taking a small spoonful and passing it over to Marlo. Patton hesitated before picking out one of the smaller pieces of chicken and putting it on his plate. Marlo’s grandmother fixed him with an almost scrutinizing look before her gaze softened once more and she spoke. 

“You don’t have to hold yourself back, Patton. You can eat as much as you would like.” She reassured him. “We won’t run out, and you won’t be taking anything away from anyone or causing anyone any trouble.” 

Patton shifted uncomfortably in his seat before realizing he should probably thank her. 

“Thank you, Ma’am-” 

“Please, call me Connie, or if you aren’t comfortable with that you can call me Mrs. G.” Marlo’s grandmother interrupted. 

“Alright. Well, thank you ,Mrs. G, for the offer, but this is more than enough. I still don’t understand how you can eat a full plate three times a day,” Patton mused. “This is enough to last me at least a day or two. I can’t imagine eating more than this.” He admitted. 

Everyone at the table shared concerned glances, but a single look from Taylor told everyone not to mention it, so they didn’t. 

“Well, dear. You are free to eat however much you are comfortable with, but know that you are always free to eat something if you are hungry and drink something if you are thirsty. You have rights here and your rights will not be taken away for any reason.” She reiterated. 

“Thank you Mrs. G, your kindness is much appreciated.” 

The 5 of them talked about mundane topics for the rest of the meal. Taylor and Marlo shared some of their crazy college campus stories, and Mckenzie and Mrs. G put in their two cents. Patton reveled in the light cozy warm feeling that seemed to replace the fear and sadness that normally sat heavy and cold in his chest. He had never gotten the chance to experience what a real family felt like, but if this was even a small sample of that feeling, he couldn't even imagine how amazing the real thing might feel.

After a while, they finished dinner, and Patton and Taylor offered to do dishes. The others (namely Mrs. G) were hesitant, but no one could successfully convince the two of them otherwise, so they were now doing the dishes while the other three set up the living room for some board games. Patton and Taylor washed the dishes in comfortable silence for a minute before Taylor spoke. 

“So, how are you doing, Pat?” They asked. 

“Im awesome! Everyone here is so nice, and then of course I get to hang out with the greatest foster sibling of all time!” Patton replied excitedly, playfully nudging Taylor with his elbow as they finished drying the last dish.

“ _ So~  _ You’ve got a  _ boyfriend now? ”  _ Patton said in a teasing tone, barely holding back laughter as Taylor’s face went beet red. 

“So, what?” They teased. “Jealous I found the hot hunk of man before you did?” They teased. 

“ _ Pffft,  _ you wish ,Lo,” Patton quipped back. “ I just never thought I’d get to see the day where I would watch you go beet red and become incapable of coherent sentences just because someone met your eyes.” He teased. 

“Oh,  _ hush _ . They grumbled, swatting Patton gently with the kitchen towel. Patton couldn’t help but flinch at the moment, but quickly slid on a happy mask to cover up the memories of Mark that wanted to flood his head.  _ Now isn’t the time to wallow in pity. It was your fault and it is over. You just found Taylor again, don’t mess it up _ . 

“Pat?” 

Patton blinked in surprise when he found Taylor’s face comically close to his own. 

“Yeah, Lo? What’s up?” He questioned calmly. 

“You zoned out there for a minute, you good?” They asked, putting away the dish rag and leaning back on the counters next to Patton. 

“Yeah, I’m good! Sorry about that. Just got lost in thought.” He explained. It wasn’t even technically a lie. He could tell that Taylor didn’t truly believe him, but thankfully they let it go.

“Alright, if you’re sure, Pat.” They said. “Are you ready to have your butt kicked in monopoly? ‘Cause I won’t be going easy on you, Mr. Morale” They teased with a playful grin. Patton laughed at the reference to a late night conversation they’d had where they picked their dream last names.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way Mx. Harlow,”

The five of them spent the night playing board games and having fun together, and for once in his life, that little voice in Patton that always seemed to tell him how horrible he was, the one that made him repeat the rules over and over in his head until any thoughts of betrayal and disobedience were drowned out, had gone silent. 

That night, he fell asleep in Taylor’s arms dreaming of a land faraway without punishment or hunger, and for one night in his life, despite the uncertainty, he slept with a smile on his face and the warm feeling of  _ hope  _ in his heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly from Taylor's point of view, so have fun getting to know one of my favorite characters from this series! Also, quick reminder that if you don't remember from the original story, Taylor is Genderfluid and begins this chapter using They/them.

It was about nine o-clock when Taylor received the call. They were curled up in Marlo’s arms on the couch with Patton laying with his head on their lap. They were half asleep when their phone began ringing in their pocket. They raised an eyebrow in confusion, sending a quick glance to Marlo, who had an equally confused expression on his face. Taylor was even more confused when they saw the caller ID. They Immediately picked up with record speed and held the phone to their ear. When they picked up they were able to hear frantic breaths from the other side of the phone, along with high pitched whining sounds.  _ Were they crying!? _

“ _ Tay! Tay, I need your help!”  _ Elliot’s voice rang out from the other side of the line.  _ “I- I saw Pat, but he was really skinny, and he has bruises all over, but then my dad tried to talk to him and he ran away and now we don’t know where he is and oh my gosh what if somethingbadhappened!-”  _

“Elliot, I need you to take a deep breath for me, hun,” Taylor cut in. “Deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth. You’ve got it. There we go,” They gently praised. They felt a tap on their shoulder, and looked over to see Marlo sign something. 

‘ _ Is Ellie alright?’  _ He signed. 

_ ‘IDK’ _ Taylor fingerspelled before their attention was pulled back to the phone. 

“Ellie, can you tell me what happened again? I promise things will be alright, but you need to stay calm and tell me what happened.” They instructed. Their voice was steady and comforting, opposite of Elliot’s shaky and panicky tone.

“ _ I.. I woke up this morning and Ami was freaking out because he had apparently accidentally sent some kid on the street into a panic attack and the kid fainted and was now lying on our couch. I know it sounds crazy, but it turns out that it was Patton from the orphanage!” They explained. “So he woke up and we talked, but he was acting super weird, and like cautious. And then, he said that he actually  _ **_deserved_ ** _ the crap that Ricky did to him back at the orphanage, and apparently he also believes that his boyfriend had the right to hit, starve, and abuse him when he makes a mistake! Tay, he was basically saying that everything his father did to him was right. And when dad tried to convince him otherwise he ran off and we couldn’t find him! I don’t know what to do. Taylor, I’m  _ **_scared_ ** **.** _ I’m really scared about what’s going to happen to him. He already looked like he was 5 seconds from passing out when he was just sitting down, what if he collapsed on the road!? What if he went back to his boyfriend, or if he is all alone and will end up in the same situation again!? I can’t lose him, Tay!”  _ Elliot’s voice broke in the end there and Taylor could hear them choke back a sob. 

“Ellie, bud, first and foremost, I want you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did your dad.” Taylor prefaced. “You had no way of knowing that he would react as strongly as he did to the situation and you were both trying to help. It is  _ not your fault  _ that he ran off. You hear me?” 

Elliot sniffled through the other end of the phone, but made a noise of acknowledgement.

“Good, now. I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t freak out, and you can’t  _ immediately  _ go tell your dads. You can afterwards, but I want you to hear everything I have to say first.” Taylor instructed. They waited to continue until they heard a shaky affirmation from the other end of the line. “El, Patton is safe. He is here with me, Marlo, Gram, and Kenzie. Grams and Kenzie found him trying to get to the nearest town and ended up taking him back here. He was exhausted but otherwise unharmed other than the bruises that were already there.” 

“ _ Tay, that’s amazing! I’m so glad he’s safe! But, why can’t I tell my dads?”  _ Elliot asked. 

“Because knowing your dads, they will want to come over right away, and there is good reason not to at the moment,” Taylor answered. “ Are your dads still up right now?” They asked.

“Umm, yeah, I think they’re still down in the kitchen, why?” 

“Can you put them on the line? You can be there too, but I want your dad’s advice on something. Plus, it would be easier and more effective to explain why you guys coming over isn’t a good idea to all of you at the same time rather than have you repeat it.” They explained. 

“ _ Alright, um. Just give me a second.”  _ There was a lot of shuffling noises from Elliot’s end until finally the shuffling stopped and a clear voice was heard. 

“ _ Taylor, how’s it going?”  _ Dr. Picani’s voice rang out from the other end of the line. 

“It’s going good, Doc.” They answered. “Now, I hate to skip the pleasantries, but did Elliot tell you what’s going on?”

“ _ Not really, mind giving us a recap?”  _ Remy, Elliot’s other father, requested. 

“Of course, so basically, El told me about what happened with Patton, and it actually just so happened that Gram and Kenzie stumbled across him on the street and instead of giving him directions to the nearest town they offered to take him here for dinner. It just so happens that Marlo and I are visiting home for the weekend so when Pat came with Grams and Kenzie we ran into each other at the door and he latched onto me like a sleepy koala.  _ But  _ I requested that you guys were on the other end of the phone along with El so I could explain that while you guys probably want to come over and see him, that’s not a great idea.” They recapped, 

“ _ Understood, Taylor. I would try to convince them of the same. Patton reacted really badly when I tried to tell him that what his boyfriend did wasn’t okay, and I don’t think he’d appreciate seeing me again right now, and by extension the rest of us. Also, if he sees me as a threat and immediately knows that you are communicating with me, I’m afraid that he will also view you as a threat, and we need to ensure his physical safety above all else right now.”  _ Dr. Picani explained. 

“My thoughts exactly, Doc, but I don’t think you have to worry about him seeing me as a threat. We’ve known each other since his very first day at the orphanage, and at most he would disagree with me. I highly doubt he would run away as he did with you. Plus I know him well enough to have practice in broaching hard topics. He’s like a little brother to me. I know him inside out and he knows me just as well. More than anything, I just wanted to let you all know that he is safe.” They admitted. 

“ _ Thanks for letting us know, Taylor. I feel a lot better knowing that he is safe with you guys. You really are an amazing person, Taylor, and I really do hope that you are able to help him.”  _ Emile’s said. Taylor could practically  _ feel  _ the waves of relief coming through the phone. 

“You flatter me, Picani,” They joked, finally allowing some of the tension to drain from their shoulders as they leaned into their boyfriend’s side. They let out a small sigh of contentment as they felt a gentle hand running through their hair. “I’ll keep you guys updated, but it’s late, y’all should get to bed. And before I go, let me make it clear that what happened was NOT your fault. That goes for both Elliot and  _ you  _ Doc. You didn’t know he would react so poorly and you did what you thought was right. Now, go to bed and don’t let guilt keep you up too late. ‘Night, Doc, G’night, El, Good night, sassy child number two.” They said their goodnights, snickering at the affronted noises that came from the other end of the line. 

“ _ Night, Tay! Thanks for all the help. You’re the best.”  _ Elliot said in earnest. 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t be getting all mushy on me! Now, get your ass in bed, Emo Raccoon.” They teased. 

“ _ Fine, MOM. Also, come on! I was, like, 6 years old! And you were the one who gave me access to the makeup! Therefore, that was a mistake solely on your end, and I shouldn’t have to be the one to suffer the consequences.”  _ They argued. Taylor gave an amused snort before responding.

“I did suffer the consequences, it’s just that  _ my  _ consequence was being privy to the most epic of makeup fails in the universe and  _ not  _ having a phone or camera to take a picture. I also had that makeup confiscated once Mrs. Willson found out that the mess in the bathroom was my doing. Plus I had to skip track meets for a week as a punishment for ‘ _ tainting the youth with my bigotry’ _ ” Taylor quipped. “ I was like: ‘gurl, first off, you couldn’t make my ass less gay if you  _ tried _ . Who are you to defy the sparkling rainbow unicorn gods of gayness. Second, this kid is no angel, he’s a sorry excuse for a devil and you know it’ Also, yes, I am your mother, Suck it up, buttercup. If you weren’t such an accident prone child I wouldn’t have had to pull your sorry ass out of trees nearly as often as I did. Deal with it.” They reprimanded. They couldn’t help but chuckle as they heard both Remy and Emile burst out into laughter. 

“ _ Loriiii!”  _ Elliot whined, their face probably red as a tomato. 

“Goodnight, Squirt, love you.” Taylor said with a chuckle, letting their voice take on a softer and more maternal tone. 

“ _ Love you too, Lor.”  _ Elliot said just before Taylor hung up the call. 

Letting out an exhausted sigh, Taylor let themselves lean back into the couch, pressing back lightly into the hand that was carding through their hair. They all sat in silence for a while, sensing that Taylor needed a moment to process whatever had just happened. Taylor focused on their breathing for a couple minutes, taking the time to slowly sort through their thoughts. They idly threaded their fingers through Patton’s hair. They let a small smile play on their lips as the teen subconsciously leaned into the touch. However, the smile quickly fell as they were reminded of the reason  _ why  _ he was so desperate for touch. Taylor took one more deep breath to steel themselves for the conversation ahead. They weren’t looking forward to it, but they realized that the others deserved to have at least a basic knowledge of what was going on. 

“I’m guessing you all want to know what’s going on?” They said softly, exhaustion seeping into their voice as they let their strong facade fall away, curling into themself at the sudden vulnerability that they felt under the gazes of the others. 

“I think we do, Lo, but that can wait. I’m more worried about  _ you  _ right now,” Marlo said softly, giving Taylor’s arm a gentle squeeze. “How are you feeling, hun. We don’t want to stretch you too thin. If we need to do a raincheck on that conversation, or if you’d rather speak to one of us and have that person tell the others, then we can do that. I can tell that this has been a lot for you, Taylor, tell us what  _ you  _ want and need. Your health will always come before our curiosity.” 

Taylor looked up at their boyfriend, fiddling idly with the pronoun necklace that hung around their neck. Their gaze fell down to their lap again as they decided what they were going to say. 

“Can…” Taylor trailed off, looking back up to their boyfriend and searching their face for any hint of annoyance. Seeing that there was nothing but unwavering love support in their eyes, they proceeded. “Can we wait until tomorrow to talk about this? Everything is honestly a bit too much right now. I think I just need some time to process.” They admitted quietly.

“Of course, dear. I can only imagine that this must be taking a toll on you. I’m proud of you for asking, Taylor. I know it’s not easy for you, dear, and we are all very proud of how you're handling everything.” Mrs. G said softly, sending a small smile to her grandson’s partner. Taylor felt a little bit more of the tension in their shoulders slide away at the reassurance. 

“Thanks, Mrs. G,” Taylor thanked the woman, who simply smiled in return. 

“Do you want some alone time?” Marlo asked. “I can sleep on the couch if you want to take my room for the night, or we can all hang out down here if you just want some time alone. Or one of us can go with you if you don’t want to be alone.” Marlo offered, pressing a soft kiss to his partner’s temple. “ Whatever you need, Lo. We will take care of Patton. Just focus on yourself for now. Pay attention to what  _ you  _ need and we will figure out the rest.” He added. 

“Can- can you come with me to your room for a bit?” They asked hesitantly, looking up and searching the eyes of the crowd for approval. 

“Of course, Lor. I promise that we’ll let you know if something happens with Patton. Now, go take care of yourself. Marlo, go take care of your girl.” Mckenzie instructed, giving Taylor a wink as they went bright red and immediately shoved the necklace with a pink pendant hastily back into their pocket. And stood up with Marlo, gently removing Patton’s head from their lap and placing a pillow underneath the boy’s head, throwing an extra blanket over the teen before walking down the halfway with their boyfriend. 

“Your sister is a psychic, I swear.” Taylor muttered under her breath. The sound of laughter coming from the living room could be heard as the pair walked up the stairs and down the hallway to Marlo’s room. 

Once they entered the room was, Taylor flopped down onto the bed, sitting up just long enough to switch her pronoun necklace to ‘She/her’ before laying back onto the pile of Pillows, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths as she heard her boyfriend close the door behind them and sitting down at his desk. Taylor was immensely grateful for the 6th sense that Marlo always seemed to have about her needing space. The two sat in silence for a while, allowing Taylor all the time she needed to process today’s events. Marlo knew that Taylor would talk when she was ready, so he sat quietly in his chair and just leaned back, taking his own time to process what had happened. 

After about 30 minutes of silence, Marlo wordlessly made his way over to the bed and quickly made sure it was alright before laying down next to Taylor, who slowly moved to lay against her boyfriend’s side, resting her head on the pillows, the back of her neck laid across Marlo’s arm.

“How’re you feeling, L?” Marlo asked quietly, careful not to be too loud and break the quiet atmosphere. Taylor just shrugged, nuzzling her face into the crook of her boyfriend’s neck and taking a deep breath before responding. 

“Honestly, I could be doing better.” She answered in earnest. “Everything is just kind of a lot right now, and it’s just bringing back some shitty memories. I’ll be fine, it is just a lot to take in.” 

Marlo hummed in understanding, bringing a hand up to gently play with Taylor’s hair. 

“Do you want to call Dr. S?” He asked.

Doctor S was Taylor’s therapist. She saw him once a week and it was really helping her work through a lot of her experiences in the foster system, along with developing good coping strategies for when things got rough. Taylor loved talking to Dr. S, and Dr. S had told her to call his emergency number if she ever needed anything after hours. Taylor knew that Dr. S wouldn’t mind if she called it, but she still felt guilty calling him so late.

“You won’t be bothering him, L,” Marlo reassured her. Taylor swore that he could read her mind. Taylor sighed, but eventually gave in and nodded. 

Fishing out her phone from her pocket, Taylor went to open it up, only to find that it was dead. She heaved a frustrated sigh, scrunching up her face as hot tears threatened to overflow. Suddenly, she felt strong steady arms spooning her and drawing her into a half sat up position against the wall of Pillows that sat against the headboard. She curled into Marlo’s arms, wrapping her own around her boyfriend’s torso and pulling herself flush against his chest, focusing on deep breaths as Marlo gently rocked side to side, continuing to run a hand through Taylor’s hair as he held her close. Once Taylor had calmed down a bit, Marlo pulled back ever so slightly to be able to wipe a stray tear from his girlfriend’s cheek. 

“Do you want me to call?” He offered, his soft and soothing. Taylor just nodded and tucked her head against his chest as he grabbed his own phone and made the call. The phone rang three times before the phone was picked up. Marlo put the phone on speaker as Dr. Seren’s voice came through the call. 

“ _ Dr. Seren here, who is this?”  _ The therapist’s voice seemed to drain a little bit of the tension from Taylor’s shoulders, but she still looked to Marlo to answer the question. 

“Hi, Dr. S. This is Marlo here, Taylor Doxen’s boyfriend?” He introduced himself. The doctor had seen him before, as he had been the one to accompany Taylor to appointments, but he thought it was better to fully introduce himself. 

“ _ Ah! Good to hear from you Marlo, is Taylor alright?”  _ The doctor asked, a light trace of concern could be heard in his voice. 

“Taylor is here, she’s just feeling overwhelmed and wants to talk to you. There was an incident with one of the kids from the orphanage that she knows and is very close with and it’s all just a little bit much. I can hand over the phone in a second, just want to get the okay from her to stick around for this one.” He explained before turning to address Taylor. “Do you want me to stay here or go wait for you with Gram and Kenzie?” He asked softly, gently cupping the right side of her face and running his finger over her cheek in a soothing repetition. 

“ _ Stay? _ ” She whispered, a pleading look in her eyes that immediately settled when Marlo nodded softly and handed her the phone. 

“Of course, love. I’ll stay for as long as you want me to. And if you need me to leave, just let me know. “ He reassured her with a kiss to her cheek. Taylor leaned in Marlo’s side as she brought the phone to her ear and turned it off of speakerphone. 

‘Hey, Dr. S,” Taylor greeted softly, exhaustion lacing her voice. 

“ _ Hey, Taylor. I heard that quite a lot has happened today.”  _ Dr. S greeted, his voice equally as soft and caring. “ _ Where do you want to start?”  _

_ … _

Taylor felt much better after talking to Dr. Seren. He had helped her sort through her emotions and come up with a good plan of what to do from here on out. Taylor said her final goodbye before pulling the phone away from her ear and let out a sigh of exhaustion. Practically collapsing back against Marlo’s chest and curling up in his arms. There was silence for a while, but eventually Taylor broke the silence with a soft whisper. 

“ _ Thanks for making me call him, _ ” She muttered sleepily, hiding a yawn behind the sleeve of her oversized sweater. “ _ I really needed that. _ ” 

Marlo met Taylor in a soft kiss before pulling back and holding her loosely against his chest. Marlo pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. 

“Do you mind if I fill Grams and Mckenzie in on what’s happening along with a base explanation of what’s going on with Pat?” He asked cautiously, not wanting to overstep any boundaries or disrespect anyone’s privacy. Taylor took a moment to respond.

“You can tell them that he’s emancipated, without a family, and just got out of an abusive relationship where he was kicked out of the house. And it would probably be best if you told them that he has a trauma history, but don’t tell them what it is.” Taylor explained. Anything past that is Patton’s information to share when and if he feels comfortable.” 

“Alright, I’ll do that. Thanks for letting me know,” He assured her, taking note of how she was practically already asleep. “Do you wanna just go to bed, L? I can go check on Patton if you’re worried about him.” he offered. Taylor stifled a yawn before sitting up. 

“Nah, I can do it. You don’t have to worry about me, Mar, I’ll be fine.” She muttered, moving to the edge of the bed. 

Marlo quickly moved to stop her, placing his hand on top of hers and interlacing their fingers. 

“L, you’re obviously exhausted. Please let me do this for you?” He requested softly, cupping Taylor’s cheek with his free hand and looking her in the eyes, trying to dispel any worry or anxiety that lay in Taylor’s icy blue gaze. They were both silent for a moment before Taylor relented, too exhausted to argue. 

“Fine,” She conceded, laying back against the pillows and shuffling under the blankets before sending one more look of uncertainty to Marlo, who grabbed her hand in reassurance. “Promise you’ll come get me if he needs anything?” She asked, although Marlo could see that she was already half asleep. He bent back over and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, brushing back her bangs with his hand. 

“I promise, Lo. Sleep well,  _ mi  _ _Paloma_.” 

“ _ Luv you too…”  _ Taylor slurred sleepily. 

Marlo laughed quietly as he gently untangled their fingers and made sure the blankets were tucked in around Taylor. Once he was sure that she would be comfortable, he plugged in Taylor’s phone and pocketed his own before silently slipping out of the room and back downstairs to the living room where his grandmother and sister were quietly talking from their respective positions on the armchair and the end of the couch that wasn’t currently occupied by a sleeping Patton. Marlo took a moment to finally get a good look at the boy who he simultaneously knew everything and nothing about. 

Taylor used to talk about Patton a lot, especially in the year or so after he arrived at college, She would tell Marlo all about his stories and how amazing he was with the kids. She would tell him about the late night talks they would have, and about Ricky and the horrible things he did to Pat. And now he had even more information about the boy since he had been there while Taylor was talking to Dr. S. (He tried not to eavesdrop too much, but it was pretty hard when she was literally lying against his chest.). So he knew a lot about Patton’s past, and some of Taylor’s concerns, and how he is fresh out of an abusive relationship. He knows every fact from the outside, but yet he knows nothing about him from the inside. 

He doesn’t know what makes him tick, or what makes him happy. He doesn’t know if he likes to be babied, or if he is independent and strong headed. He doesn’t know why he allowed people to bruise and break him or why he decided to run into a suburban labyrinth when he was kicked out. But the strange thing is, he kind of  _ wanted  _ to know. Maybe it was just that Taylor was very protective of him, and anyone who mattered to Taylor mattered to him, or maybe it was because he saw someone who needed help and wanted to make things better. But for whatever reason, he just took a moment to  _ observe _ . 

He took note of the way that Patton’s face was still slightly pinched in sleep, as though he knew that he would never truly escape his demons. He noticed how the hand shaped bruises were beginning to darken and become more noticeable on the boy’s pale skin. He noticed how thin he was, and how his eyes had dark bags under them, telling of how much sleep he usually got. He saw the scars that littered the boy’s hands, and the bruises that marred the skin of his neck. He looked at the dirty blonde curls that framed his face, which upon closer inspection had a dusting of freckles across his cheeks and on his nose. 

After looking at the boy for a moment longer, Marlo turned to the girls, who had both gone quiet. Mckienzie was looking at him, as if assessing his wellbeing, and his grandmother was shifting her gaze between Patton and Marlo, as if trying to figure out what Marlo was seeing.

“How’s Taylor?” His grandmother asked, getting up and pulling one of the chairs in from the dining room for Marlo to sit in. Marlo gave his thanks before sitting down and answering. 

“She’s alright, just really tired and a bit overwhelmed,” Marlo reported. “I had her call Dr. S and they talked for a while. I think they came up with a good plan for what to do from here on out.” 

“Are you okay with sharing what said plan is?” Mckenzie inquired. Marlo grinned sheepishly and brought a hand to the back of his neck. 

“Umm… truth be told, I kind of zoned out for a good portion of the conversation, but I do know that we plan on sticking around here for longer than just this weekend, if that’s okay with you guys. We want to make sure that Patton has a stable place to stay before we leave.” He explained. 

“Does he not have a home already?” Mckenzie asked, concern gleaming in her eye. 

“Well, I can’t tell you everything, but here’s what I got permission from Lo to tell you” Marlo prefaced before explaining. “So, as you know, Patton was in the orphanage with Lor since he was a kid. He never found a family and gained emancipation status and moved out on his own. Apparently he got himself into an abusive relationship and he was recently kicked out with no knowledge of the area and just ran around until he ended up here. There was definitely some steps in between that I am missing, but that’s basically what you need to know. Also, he has a trauma history, so don’t grab or touch him without warning or a precursor and be very careful about making jokes about violence and such. We just have to be patient with him while he regains his bearings on the world outside of his relationship.” He concluded, watching the girl’s faces carefully for their reactions. 

Mckenzie looked appalled at the very thought of all this kid had gone through, and his grandmother’s reaction, although more tame and schooled, seemed to share the same sentiment.

“ _ Geez,  _ now I feel even  _ worse  _ about how I treated him at first.” Mckenie muttered as she stole another glance at the fragile teen who lay sleeping on their couch. 

“You can stay as long as you need dear, and that invitation is extended to Patton as well.” His grandmother said with a firm nod. 

“Yeah, and we will help however we can.” Mckenzie confirmed. 

Marlo didn’t know what tomorrow and the following days would hold, but he knew one thing for sure. Patton was going to be okay. They  _ would make sure of it.  _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh? Is this an actual update? Yes! I apologize to everyone who had been following this story and was suddenly left in the dark for, like, a month. I got caught up in other writing pieces and honestly forgot that this work even existed until someone left a comment here! Good news is that I have a story outline for this now, so this is sure to get finished at some point (hopefully soon, but it might take a while.). So, yeah. Updates to this might not be frequent, but I am determined to finish this and not abandon it, so look forward to that! Anyways, thanks for reading this little blurb and I hope that you enjoy the chapter! Also, this is not beta read in the slightest, so I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar issues. If there are any detrimental mistakes, let me know so I can fix them. See you in the comments!

Patton woke up pleasantly warm, nearly purring in contentment as he felt a soft hand carding through his hair. He let out a happy sigh, leaning slightly into the hand. This would be a common occurrence for Patton in the following weeks. Taylor and Marlo had messaged their professors that they would be doing online classes for the next few weeks because of a family emergency. Some of the professors were mean about it, but Patton was surprised to find that most of them were really nice. Patton even got to meet one of Taylor’s teachers. With no hobbies or interests, Patton spent most of his time glued to Taylor’s side, although he would spend time with the others if they asked, but everyone knew who Patton’s favorite was. 

Taylor, Marlow, Mackenzie, and Mrs. G, had all been working behind the scenes to think of how they could help Patton. Taylor had made a good base for the plan with Dr. S, but the details all had to be ironed out. In the meantime, the family was simply trying to get Patton to better health. He still refused to eat nearly enough, and evidently feels guilty for taking up so much of their time, but he is constantly being reassured that they don’t mind, and that everyone is happy to help. After a few days of Patton staying with the family, they started trying to slowly work some normal everyday tasks into his life, knowing that whatever Patton’s life with Mark had been was likely  _ far  _ from normal. 

Despite the fact that, by Taylor’s calculations, Patton had only been with Mark for about a year or so, the man had obviously taken Patton’s malleable heart and twisted it into something different, something bent on self destruction. They could see it every day, in the way that he avoided mirrors, in the way that he avoided talking about himself but was always all too quick to confess to his crimes and admit his flaws (which weren’t even existent for the most part). But the time that his past became impossible to ignore, was when Patton earnestly made a mistake. The mistake could be large or small. It could be something as simple as forgetting to thank Mrs. G for dinner, or as big as accidentally breaking a glass, but no matter the size of the mistake, it would set off a response in Patton that was honestly a bit terrifying to see. 

After making a mistake, especially if it was accidentally breaking something, Patton would freak out, most likely have a panic attack, but that wasn’t the bad part, no. What was terrifying behaviour from a free willed seventeen year old, was when Patton would beg to be punished. He would  _ ask  _ to be punished, saying that he had been bad and that he needed to be punished to get it through his head. At first, they had been able to circumvent it by simply distracting him, or gently scolding him verbally, but it was obvious that the Verbal punishments weren’t cutting it, and out of fear that Patton may turn to hurting himself, they came up with a better way to both fulfill Patton’s needs  _ and  _ keep him safe.

From that day on, they installed a set of rules and  _ safe  _ punishments for Patton to follow. For example: Forget to say thank you to the cook for making dinner, he had to help with the dishes; Let someone know, grab a broom, and clean up the glass  _ without  _ hurting himself. There were things that they refused to punish him for, like Panic attacks or flashbacks, but Patton was normally too exhausted after those to care about punishments. But along with the punishments, by recommendation from Emile, who Taylor had been updating on Patton’s status, they were sure to implement positive reinforcements as well. If Patton did a task that was asked of him, he would get to pick a movie to watch at the end of the day. If he ate a full plate of food, or stopped himself from apologizing for unnecessary things, he would get to go to the dog park. (that was one of his favorite rewards. He definitely made a larger effort to eat more, especially when the prospect of going to the  _ shelter  _ to play with the animals was brought up.) 

Overall, things were going very well considering where they had started. It was now three weeks since Patton had reunited with Taylor, and the excited teen was currently on his way over to the shelter, practically buzzing with excitement in the passenger seat as Taylor laughed at him. 

“Geez, Pat. I think you’re going to vibrate off of the plane of existence if you keep that up,” They teased, laughing as Patton’s grin only grew wider. 

“But,  _ PUPPIES,  _ Lo!. We’re going to see  _ PUPPIES.  _ I’m gonna squish their cute little faces and cuddle them until they can cuddle no more.  _ THEY’RE PUPPIES!!!!”  _ Patton exclaimed, his argument not even making sense as he made large excited gestures with his hands and arms, as if there was simply too much energy within him to stay still. 

Taylor laughed even harder, doing their best to keep their eyes on the road as the excitable teen next to him seemed to gain even  _ more  _ energy from the reminder of where they were going. 

“Yes, Bug. We’re going to see the puppies. We can stay there for as long as you'd like. I don’t have any classes today and you ate a full breakfast and a full lunch,  _ plus  _ you helped Marlo with raking the leaves. You’ve been doing awesome, Pat. Let’s go have the time of our lives.” They praised Patton, who blushed at the praise, but the large smile stayed, although there was a softer look in the teen’s eyes. 

“Thanks, Lo. You truly are the best big sibling in the world. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Patton thanked Taylor, who simply smiled and ruffled his hair in return as the car pulled into the parking lot. 

“Lucky for you, then, I’m never letting you go again.” they said with a smile, giving Patton’s hand a gentle squeeze before opening the car door and moving over to Patton’s side of the car, offering him a hand as he got out of the car. “Now, let's go pet some puppies.”

Patton squealed in excitement, darting out of the car and to Taylor’s side, tugging on their arm to walk faster as the two approached the doors. Patton’s eyes grew wide as he stepped through the doors and immediately heard the sounds of dogs barking from further back into the shelter. His smile was blinding as he turned to Taylor with pure unbridled excitement in his eyes, bouncing up and down on his heels as he squealed in excitement.

“Let’s check in with the people at the desk so we can go see the puppies, yeah?” Taylor proposed. 

“Let’s go!” Patton agreed, laughing as he all but dragged Taylor to the front desk. He was still shy around strangers, but the excitement of puppies seemed to be much stronger than his anxiety. The lady at the desk smiled at the pair as they walked up to the desk. 

“Hi there! How can I help you, today?” The woman asked, obviously enthused by Patton’s energy. 

“We’re here to play with the pups, if that’s alright. My partner’s sister, Mackenzie, said that you guys let people interact with them out in the yard?” Taylor asked for confirmation. The woman’s eyes flashed with recognition. 

“Oh! You must be Taylor. Nice to meet you, The name’s Marissa.” The woman introduced herself. “What’s your name, kid?” Marissa asked, turning to Patton, who smiled brightly and introduced himself. 

“I’m Patton. It’s nice to meet you.” He greeted her. 

“Right back at ya, Patton. Are you guys all ready to go meet the puppies?” She asked with a mischievous grin, leaning in with a conspiratory grin. “I’ve heard that they just got a fluffy husky pup in today,” She whispered with a wink. 

Patton gasped, practically vibrating with excitement as his grin grew impossibly wider. 

“Follow me,” Marrisa said with a laugh, gesturing for them to follow her further back into the shelter, calling out to one of her coworkers as she went by, asking them to take the front desk while she showed Taylor and Pat to the back. Taylor and Patton were led out to a small play pen area where a crowd of puppies sat playing. They all immediately perked up at the sound of the doors opening, yapping in excitement as they made their way into the room. Patton literally jumped for joy, looking to Taylor for permission, looking like a child who had just been told they could eat all of their Halloween candy in one night. Taylor rolled their eyes with an amused smirk and nodded.

“Knock yourself out, kid.” They confirmed, and that was all it took for Patton to practically fly into the pen, sitting down on the ground and allowing himself to get tackled by the adorable puppies. 

Taylor and Marissa couldn’t help but laugh as they all started attacking the teen with kisses, leaving Patton a squawking and giggling mess as he soaked up the puppy love. 

Needless to say, they spent a good couple of hours playing with the dogs, Taylor eventually joining when Marissa had to get back to her shift. After about three hours or so, though, it was time to go back home. Patton said goodbye to the puppies, giving each one a scratch behind the ear, before taking Taylor’s hand again and allowing them to lead him out of the room and back up to the front desk, waving to Marissa as they exited the building. The pair talked excitedly about the puppies as they drove back to the house, but excitement quickly turned to concern when the house came into view. 

“Lo, why are there police cars outside?” Patton asked, the excitement in his voice giving way to fear as he spotted the police cruisers in the driveway and the officers in the doorway. 

“I don’t know, Pat. We’ll have to see when we get there.” Taylor said warily, keeping their voice as calming as possible for Patton, who was no doubt jumping to the worst case scenarios in his head. “Everything will be fine, Bug. I promise that I won’t let anything happen to you.” They assured the teen, meeting Patton’s eyes as they pulled into the driveway, putting the car into park and exiting the car, opening Patton’s door for him and keeping the lightly trembling teen against his side in a half embrace. 

Patton seemed to move further behind Taylor as they approached the officers, hiding behind Taylor as a child might hide behind it’s mother. Taylor could feel Patton begin to shake as one of the officers caught sight of the pair and turned around. The officer walked towards the pair, leaving his partner to continue talking to Marlo and Mrs. G, who were standing in the doorway. 

“Good evening Mx., I’m officer Roberts of the town police department. Do you two live here?” The officer asked, seeming to eye Patton suspiciously, who ducked further behind Taylor in fear. 

Taylor reached one of their hands back for Patton to hold before answering the officer. 

“Yes, we are staying here currently, although I live in an apartment up in Boston. I am down here visiting family with my partner.” Taylor divulged, almost wincing from the strength of Patton’s grip on their hand. The officer’s gaze turned fully to Patton, who shrunk even further behind Taylor. 

“And your friend” He asked, gesturing towards a terrified Patton who was currently cowering behind Taylor. 

“He’s family as well. He recently reached out for help after exiting an abusive relationship, so I ask that you please be delicate with the topic. May I ask what you are here for?” Taylor questioned, doing their best to stay calm and cooperative, but also feeling very protective of Patton, who was trembling behind them and holding onto their arm with a death grip. 

“Of course,” The officer agreed. “We are here on reports of a missing person who we believe to be the man behind you.” Officer Roberts revealed. The already impossibly tight grip on Taylor’s arm only seemed to tighten. “A man by the name of Mark Andrews reported that his boyfriend of one year, Patton Larrow, had suddenly gone missing one night and has yet to return.” 

Taylor’s blood boiled as they recognized the name. That man was the same man who threw Patton out onto the streets. The same man who completely altered Patton’s state of mind until he was so bent on punishment that it was a necessity in the teen’s life. Taylor had to stop themself from growling at the mere thought. They were about to tell off the officer when Patton beat them to it. 

“He-he reported me missing?” Patton whispered, his voice soft and confused. 

The officer nodded.

“Indeed, he has been very worried about you. He said that he was terribly afraid when you left, with your state of mind being what it is. We can take you back to him if you’d like, and if these people did anything to you we can try them in court.” The officer coaxed, smiling as Patton peeked out from behind Taylor.

Patton looked to Taylor with so much confusion and emotion that it broke the enby’s heart. 

“ _ Pat,”  _ Taylor whispered, but they were cut off by the officer. 

“Mx., Please let Mr. Larrows speak his mind without interference. This is his decision and his only.” The officer instructed coolly, obviously thinking that Taylor was doing something bad. 

Patton stayed silent for a bit longer, a war raging inside of his head as he tried to decide on an answer. 

“I…” Patton trailed off, his gaze locking onto the ground. “ _ I want to go back….”  _ He whispered. The officer seemed relieved at the words, nodding. It seemed he was about to speak, but Patton cut him off, stepping out from behind Taylor and standing a bit straighter. “But, I know now that what Mark did was wrong. To love is not to hurt, and he hurt me. I appreciate your work, officer, but I will be staying with Taylor and their family for now.” 

“Mark said that you might try to lie to us because you were in a bad state of mind. He said that you and him argued about you going to the psych ward the night before, and that’s why you ran away. Is any of this information true?” The officer asked. Patton shook his head.

“No, officer, I ran from the yard because Mark threw me out. He told me that I had been a bad pet because I had a panic attack and then I didn’t go into the cage like he wanted.” Patton explained. He didn’t want to frame Mark as the bad guy, but he also didn’t want Taylor to be blamed. “He threw me into the yard and said ‘good riddance you filthy dirtbag’ before going back into the house. I waited in the yard until noon the next day hoping that he would come back and let me back in, let me make up for my mistakes, but he just came and yelled at me to go away or he would call the cops. So I ran.” Patton’s gaze seemed farther away, but painfully hopeful. “But… maybe if he came looking for me… maybe he’s decided I was a good boy after all. Maybe he does love me…” Patton whispered, tears forming in his eyes. 

Taylor spared a glare to the officer, who now looked thoroughly confused and concerned. 

“No, no, no. Pat, do you remember what we told you about love? About what people who love you act like?” Taylor questioned, desperately trying not to let all of Patton’s progress fall apart in a single moment. 

Patton looked conflicted, and it wasn’t hard to see the battle going on in the teen’s head. They could only hope that the light ended up prevailing. 

“Y-you said…” Patton began, stuttering as he struggled to get the words out of his mouth when they sounded alien to his ears. “You said that people who love you don’t hurt you, a-and that they shouldn’t tell you to go in the cage, or tell you that you can’t eat or drink…” He said guiltily, knowing the point that Taylor was trying to make, but still desperately hoping that it wasn’t so. Patton may be terrible at lying, but he was a master at lying to himself. “B-but he loved me! He had to, Lo! He put up with me being clingy and traumatized for a whole year and a half! He must have loved me! We would still cuddle on the c-couch, a-and he would -t-tell me h-he loved m-me!” Patton cried, torn between launching himself into Taylor’s arms and backing away from them. 

“ _ Patton.”  _

Taylor met Patton’s eyes, their icy blue gaze staring deep into Patton’s soul. He knew what they were saying. The icy blue orbs whispered soft words into the wind that swirled around his head, spiraling like frozen fractals as their icy edges cut straight through his heart. Patton choked on a sob as he tried to the words to leave his mouth. In the end, he was only able to choke out two words before he collapsed into sobs. 

“ _ I know.”  _ The words were barely audible, but Taylor heard them loud and clear, smiling softly as Patton collapsed into their chest. Taylor pulled the teen protectively closer, whispering comforts into Patton’s ear as he sobbed against their chest. 

“I know you do, bug. I know you want to believe that he loved you,” Taylor murmured in comfort, rubbing a comforting hand up and down Patton’s back, ignoring the officer’s glances as the two seemed to converse with one another. “But I  _ also  _ know that deep down you  _ know  _ that what Mark did was wrong, that he  _ shouldn’t  _ have hurt you or done any of the nasty things he did to you. You know that, Patton. I won’t make you say it out loud. I know it hurts to say, it hurts to  _ hear.  _ But it needs to be said. I won’t let him hurt you again, Pat.  _ You deserve better.”  _

And deep down, some inkling of Patton told him that Taylor was right, that he really didn’t deserve to be locked up in a cage. So Patton decided to do something he had rarely done before, and just this once, he  _ listened  _ to that voice, and let himself  _ believe. _

  
“ _ Okay,” _

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to respond to comments as soon as possible! If you think I missed anything in the tags then feel free to tell me in the comments and I will add said tag as soon as I can. See you in the next chapter and thanks for reading!  
> \- Aspen <3


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